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This wasn’t what I was expecting. “Delilah mentioned there was some scandal at your school.”
Colton nodded, avoiding my gaze. “Austin and I were roommates our freshman year, and we became good friends. We partied, but we went to class and studied. At least, I thought he was. Our junior year, he seemed to be partying more and staying out later, but I thought it was the usual stress of an upperclassman. His dad wanted him to major in business and work for him, and he didn’t want that. I should have been paying closer attention.”
“Whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault.” I didn’t even need to hear the facts to know that Colton would never intentionally hurt anyone.
“I wasn’t there. I didn’t stop him.”
I stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt him.
“He asked me to go to this party, but I had an exam the next day and needed to study. Grades didn’t come as easily for me as they did for him. He was pissed, saying that I was never around anymore and didn’t want to have fun. Anyway, he had too much to drink that night; he was showing off to his new friends at a frat house and got up on the railing of a balcony and fell.”
I sucked in a breath. Even though I’d been expecting it, it was still surprising. “Was he okay?”
I never looked up the scandal after learning about it from Delilah. Maybe I should have.
“It was only a couple of stories up. He had a bad concussion and broke some bones. It could have been much worse, but he was expelled. It was a combination of his failing grades and what happened. The frat was investigated for hazing, providing the alcohol, and it made the news. It was bad publicity.”
“Why did you drop out?”
“I felt responsible. I was barely passing myself and felt like I didn’t belong there anymore.”
“You weren’t responsible, though. He made his own choices that night.”
“I could have done more. Been there for him. Known it was more than just a good time. He was addicted at that point. Afterward, he spent a long time in rehab.”
“That’s sad. But it’s not on you.” I could tell from the stubborn set of his jaw that he didn’t agree.
“I should have been there. Nothing will absolve me of that.”
Did he feel like he had that same responsibility for everyone in his life?
“In the Marines, I was stationed in Madagascar at the U.S. Embassy. It was supposed to be a good post. Little to no action. And it was for a while. But we let our guard down. There was some unrest and bombings in the city, but we were complacent, assuming nothing would happen at the embassy. I was wrong.
“Some kid threw a homemade bomb. It went off but didn’t work properly, and my friend was injured.”
My stomach sank. “You feel responsible.”
“Both times, I should and could have done more.”
I slowly shook my head, knowing I wouldn’t convince him otherwise. “Is there another way to see these events? With your college friend, the incident pushed him into rehab. He got the help he needed.”
“Did he?”
“His road is long and difficult, but it’s not yours. You said yourself you never expected a kid to throw a bomb at you in Madagascar.”
“I should have.”
“I’m just saying there are many ways to look at things. It might ease your conscience if you considered other angles.”
He didn’t answer, and I knew he didn’t want to see this another way.
I moved closer to him, straddling his lap. “I don’t know why you chose to tell me this tonight, but I appreciate that you trusted me enough to share it with me.”
I knew it wasn’t an easy thing for him to do.
“You don’t think differently of me?”
“Of course not. We all make mistakes, but I don’t think you’re to blame.”
