AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I held my finger to his lips when I thought he was going to protest. “I know you feel differently, but I see it another way. I see someone who cares about the people around him, who does his best to protect them. But you’re not infallible. You’re not some superhero.”
“What if I want to be? What if I hold myself to a higher standard?”
“I guess I’d ask why. Why are you driven to feel this way? Is it useful? Or is it tearing you apart inside?” I knew it wasn’t healing him. His misguided sense of responsibility was keeping him locked in the past, unable to move on.
His shoulders set, he said, “It’s my past to bear.”
“What if you forgave yourself, and let your mind heal?”
He sucked in a breath.
“It doesn’t have to be like this.”
His eyes widened as he considered my words.
“You don’t have to decide tonight, but will you consider the possibility that you could forgive yourself of whatever transgressions you think are yours, and move on with your life?”
“It sounds too good to be true.”
“Oh. I almost forgot.” I scrambled off his lap, grabbing the box I’d picked up earlier. “I got something for you.”
Returning to my perch on his lap, I slowly opened the box.
“A necklace?”
“It’s a St. Michael’s pendant. People wear them to keep them safe.”
“Several of my colleagues wear them.”
“Will you wear it?” I wasn’t sure he would. But even if he kept it in a box by his bed, I’d be okay with that.
He nodded, and I slipped it over his head, holding the silver pendant between my fingers.
“Can we call on him to bless it, and ask him to keep you safe?”
“It only works when I wear it?”
“No, but I’d like you to have it.” I closed my eyes, still holding the pendant. I led Colton through simple breathing exercises to start, then I called on Archangel Michael. I asked him to protect Colton—both body and mind—when he was working. To be by his side when things were challenging. A deep sense of peace came over me. I was protecting Colton in the only way I could.
I hoped that St. Michael would help heal this deep-seated sense of guilt in him. I kissed the pendant before resting it softly on Colton’s chest, then I kissed him.
“I love you.” The words were free and easy, a natural verbalization of the feelings that had been building inside. I didn’t believe in ignoring them, even if he wasn’t ready to hear them yet.
His arms tightened around me. “You do?”
My eyes popped open; the lightness of the meditation filled me, and there was a blue light in my peripheral vision. “So much.”
He kissed me harder, as if I’d disappear into thin air if he didn’t. He rolled me so I was underneath him on the couch. I welcomed his weight. This was real. I loved him. And I was pretty sure he felt the same. He just wasn’t comfortable expressing himself.
We kissed until my lips felt swollen. Then he pulled back. “I love you too, Remi.”
I smiled so wide, I thought my face would crack. I wasn’t expecting him to say it back. Not yet. The fact that he felt the same way filled me with peace and contentment, buoying the effect of our meditation.
I held his neck, pulling him back down to me, showing him with my mouth, my touch, and my body how much I loved him. I appreciated having him in my life. I let his love fill the hollows of my chest and the crevices in my body until I was whole.
He lifted me, carrying me the few feet to my bed. Looking down at me sprawled out, his expression was filled with awe. I moved to my knees, slowly undressing, wanting to extend this moment.
When I was naked, I lay back down, beckoning him with my hand. He quickly removed his clothes, coming over to me to press his naked body against mine.
