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“What the hell, Jules … this is not a competition.”
“You’re right, it’s not,” she snapped. Her voice almost broke and I could see how distressed she felt.
I sighed, my eyes softening toward her. “There’s no contest, I choose you, Jules … Tricia has never been an option. Yes, I slept with her, I can’t take that back, no matter what,” I confessed, shook my head, and shrugged. “She only wanted my body, so I moved on.” As soon as the words were out, I winced, realizing my stupid mistake.
“So that’s it. It’s not that you don’t want her, it’s you can’t have her. Now I see … she was theone and I’m what … the other one?” Swiping a dishcloth from the side of the sink she wiped angrily at the clean countertop. I immediately raced to her side. Placing my hand over hers, I tried to calm her, but she shrugged me away.
“Jules, sweetheart, I know I’ve hurt you, but you’re being irrational, there’s no need to feel jealous. I want to be with you and perhaps I expected you to have had more confidence in us in a couple.”
“I did have confidence, James. Yesterday morning I woke up with butterflies in my stomach, proud that you felt serious enough about me to introduce me to friends and family. Last night I went to bed feeling like I’d been dragged naked before them.”
My breath caught in my throat and my legs almost buckled when the intercom buzzer broke the tension between us. Immediately Juliette picked up her jacket and shrugged herself into it. As she moved to reach down for her bag, I also snatched it and held it between us.
“Damn, car’s early. Don’t go, Jules, please, let’s work this out,” I implored, moving her bag and pulling her into my arms. For a moment I thought she would resist me, but she didn’t.
“I have to, seeing you with her yesterday … it destroyed how I felt about you, James. The connection between you … it was … gravitational… like you had this invisible tie to one another.” A single tear finally fell and rolled down her cheek as she pulled away from me. I stood staring into her eyes; my own painful swell of emotion almost closed my throat when I thought I was losing her.
She closed her eyes, breaking the intense painful stare that had grown between us. “You know the saddest part? I think both her partner and I read the same into the situation. What neither of you knew was we too, shared a look, and my heart squeezed in my chest because he’d confirmed my own thoughts when he felt compelled to break that connection between you two. I was thankful for that because it had been extremely painful to watch.”
An ache formed in my chest to think I’d inflicted such distress in her and despite what I told myself about none of my reactions being intentional, on some subconscious level a decision had triggered a switch when I’d reacted how I had.
“Please, don’t touch me.” Her command startled me at how sharp her tone had sounded, as she pushed me away. I followed her all the way out of the building until she reached the car.
Feelings of disbelief and helplessness wore me down. I could hardly believe we were through, but I knew no matter what I may have thought of to say, Juliette had every right to protect how she felt, because I’d never reacted to her in the same way I had toward Tricia.
The moment she was seated in her transportation, panic gripped me. Realizing those were the final moments of my relationship with her, I made one last-ditch attempt to reason with her by climbing inside the car beside her.
“Get the fuck out, James.” I’d never heard her talk with such coldness in her tone. “The very least you can do is not make this any harder for me than it is. If you love me like you say you do, you will respect me and do as I ask.” I stared forlornly into her eyes, absorbing every painful second of our parting, until I finally surrendered, climbed back onto the asphalt, and let Juliette leave alone.
