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The role of these girls may have appeared sexist and degrading, and to the uninitiated the way Juliette was dressed may have looked tacky and demeaning, but the secretarial logo of the company hosting the event had fit her attire perfectly. The design of the insignia was instantly recognizable and represented trust to the public, therefore it had been regarded as an acceptable promotion of Secretariat Treasures Inc. for well over a century.
Dressed as the female on the company logo, Juliette’s appearance still got my vote in her classic, tight black pencil skirt, sky-high black patient heels, and her tucked, crisp white, cotton button-down blouse. Completing the look, she wore a sophisticated sexy blonde hair updo and a pair of black-rimmed specs; which I later found out were her actual nearsighted eyewear. No matter whether they had been real or not, the girl totally rocked the look.
Juliette was alluring, but I only noticed what she wore after she’d already engaged me with her infectious smile, confident flirty nature, and her ignorance of the competing testosterone in the room. Seeing her unimpressed by those people made her infinitely more interesting, and I was intrigued to find out more about her.
As for Juliette, she’d already registered her interest in me by the way her warm hands had lingered around my neck, and by the time I headed home that night, her home and mobile cell numbers had been safely added to my contacts list for a call on another day.
* * *
From that day to this I was thankful I’d met her, because for the first time in years, I’d felt happy to wake to a woman beside me in my bed. Of course, there had been the odd occasion when one or two girls I’d gone out with had lasted a month or so, but I never really had that one person in my life I’d wanted to be a better person for, until Juliette. Sex with her was good, if a little less exciting than I’d been used to, but I felt mentally stronger for being with a partner for the first time in my life.
“So this happened pretty quickly?” Sawyer probed, taking a slug of his beer.
“I guess. It wasn’t an intentional decision, but yeah, I’d only been in the New York apartment three weeks before I asked her to move in. Coincidently, Jules’s lease on her apartment came up for renewal, and I’d already seen what a dump she lived in.” I shrugged. “I just thought she was better off living with me.”
“Very romantic,” Sawyer drawled sarcastically.
He was right, when I heard myself recall the reason she was with me, it hadn’t sounded like a statement of commitment, but it was the best I could offer at that point in time. It had been something of a miracle I’d trusted her at all after my experience with Charlotte.
It had been a huge decision to take Juliette with me to Hammer’s place, since I knew my youngest sister, Lorna, Sawyer and his wife, Billie, would be watching my every move. I knew from Sawyer, Billie had felt disappointed that I hadn’t made more of an effort with her best girlfriend, Tricia. I had never spoken openly about what had happened between Tricia and me, and I had nothing to reproach on that score anyway, because the decision not to go farther was on Billie’s friend, not on me.
After the wedding we’d hooked up on a couple of other occasions; the last time had been when we’d left Sawyer and Billie’s place on Christmas night when Billie was pregnant with the twins.
Tricia swears I had initiated that session by pecking her cheek and touching her hand in the kitchen when I’d arrived, but I disagreed, because it had been her idea to go to her house when I’d been prepared to go home. Looking back, there was never a choice that night, because the lust and attraction we had was mutual. But after the fiery chemistry and deep connection I’d felt we’d shared that night, I drew a line when afterward she’d acted cold and blew me off again.
That time I didn’t roll over and leave because by then I’d made up my mind I liked Tricia, really liked her. In fact, I thought I may even have loved her by then and her cold and controling behavior was maybe just an act. But when I tried talk to her about why she was resisting what I knew we both felt, she immediately shut me out.
When I left her that night and got back in my car, the ache in heart felt heavy, and something told me instinctively, she was determined not to change.
Admitting that to myself was tough, but the first rule to a problem is a solution, business had taught me that. My problem with Tricia Mattison was I liked her a little too much. Acknowledging my feelings for her was hard, and once I had been honest with myself about that, the only solution I saw going forward was to deliberately avoid her. Life had felt difficult enough at that time without chasing complicated, fucked-up women.
“Do I detect rings and wedding bells?” Sawyer asked me, nodding toward the direction she’d gone again.
“Fuck, no. What’s the rush? It’s only been weeks since she moved in, Sawyer, not months. I’m not all like you, bro. Some of us are more guarded with our single status.”
“Bullshit, when you know, you know,” he replied, flashing me a smug smirk as he brought his beer bottle to his lips and his eyes instinctively scanned the yard for Billie.
“I like her,” I admitted, after shrugging my shoulders when he silently scrutinized me with his curious eyes until I felt uncomfortable. A frown creased his brow at my response.
“Fuck, James.” He shook his head, looked at his feet, then his eyes snapped back up and met mine. “No wonder women couldn’t keep their hands off your dick.”
“And that would be why, exactly?” I asked, eyeing my brother with caution.
“The store has closed, so no one can buy into your feelings,” he said, poking my chest.
“I do have … feelings for Jules,” I replied hesitantly, my words choppy as I tried to quantify it in terms to myself.
“Well, I hope you can express them a bit more than that, dude, because ‘feelings’ aren’t exactly how you describe someone you love.”
“All right, smart-ass, tell me what I’m missing. What do you think when you look at Billie?”
“That’s easy. I see the love of my life. My gorgeous little ball of wonder. When I see her, I can’t keep my hands off of her. My heart melts when I see her holding my kids in her arms and it swells tight. When she looks at me and I stare into the depths of her soul, it’s the most serene feeling. When that happens it’s just her and me and we’re all that matters.”
“You sound the part of a lyricist with those comments,” I scoffed, but his description of his life with Billie sounded nice.
Sawyer shrugged and his eyes filled with angst. “I feel desperately protective of her, and there isn’t one single thing that I wouldn’t do to keep her from being hurt.” He chuckled. “Flip that, and on the other end of the spectrum, I want to fucking devour her because she fires me up inside.”
“Whoa, Sawyer … that’s some heavy shit—”
