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“What’s the worst that can happen? Colby gets to spend Christmas with us, and if Logan really wants his son to be happy and has a shred of decency for your feelings, he’ll accept our invitation.”
“I expect he’ll be spending Christmas with his parents,” she said with a pout of doubt.
“Then they’ll have to come too, or they can invite us to their place. Either way I’m going to ask.”
“I feel exhausted. Would you mind if I caught a nap?” she asked, clearly drained from crying, her eyelids puffy. She looked worn out.
“Absolutely, you need all the rest you can get,” I insisted, turning her away from me and pulling her body back against my front. Sliding my hand over her abdomen, I found the hem of her maternity top and slid my hand underneath. Her belly felt tight as a drum and I smoothed my palm gently over her bump. “You too, little ones. No messing with your mom’s snuggle nap,” I muttered, kissed her shoulder, and rested my chin on the same spot.
Ten minutes later, Billie was dead to the world. I gingerly eased myself away from her and rose to my feet. Picking up my jacket from the floor, I tiptoed out of our bedroom and closed the bedroom door.
Taking out my cell I made my way to the loggia and closed off the patio doors. Finding Logan’s number, I hit the call button and waited for him to answer. He didn’t work Mondays, which made me wary of him, as Billie had Mondays off too. Not that I didn’t trust Billie, I just figured if he grew some balls and meddled in my shit again, this was most likely the day of the week he’d do it.
“Yes,” he answered in a clipped tone, obviously knowing it was me. He didn’t like me, I didn’t care, but I tried to keep things amicable for my family’s sake.
“Christmas Day,” I started.
“My turn. Colby’s with me, she had him last year,” he barked.
“Not how my memory serves,” I stated. “From my recollection you imposed yourself on Billie.”
“My son was still with her.”
“As were you, and I figured if that was the way things rolled last year, then this year should be the same.”
“You want your pregnant wife, my ex wife, to come and spend Christmas with me and our son?”
I chuckled. “In your dreams, dude. You can come here.”
“With you there and we can all play happy families? Are you out of your fucking mind? What are you smoking these days?”
My chest tightened in frustration, so I drew in a deep breath and rolled my head either side on my neck to try and release some tension, then I let out a sigh.
“Billie’s not good, she’s distressed about Colby not being with her this year. Being pregnant she’s worried Colby may begin to feel pushed out. To be frank, I feel the same.”
“Then she shouldn’t be having more children if she feels this way. Pity Colby’s welfare has been an afterthought.”
His remark made me see red and I lost it. “Are you really going to do this?” I scoffed. “You’re one hypocritical bastard. You walked away from your only child, your small son, for a piece of pussy, you asshole. You got drunk and left him to fend for himself in a strange hotel. Then there was the incident when you didn’t turn up for his visitation. Billie has been more than generous in the way she’s considered you, and you know why? Because you’re the father of her son.”
“Thanks for the biology lesson, I know this, I was there when we made him,” he shot back.
My fist curled and I knew he was getting a rise out of me. I took a deep breath, but it did me no good. “Well, what a big man you are, having a baby. You think that made you a man? Being a man is doing what’s right for others when you want to be selfish. Being a father means you make tough decisions even when it doesn’t suit you. Your son is going to have brothers or sisters or both, and if you continue to ignore his needs, he’s going to walk away. How can you still not see this?”
“Oh, and you’d know all this because…”
“Because I watched my brother struggle when I was small. He hated me because I was born and he hated my father because he didn’t try to understand how he felt. Now the way I see it, one of two things may happen when our babies are born, Colby’s siblings, by the way. Colby will either not want to come to your place at all, or he’ll expect a hell of a lot more from you than I figure you’re equipped to give him right now. Are you willing to gamble with your son’s security, Logan?”
When he fell silent I knew I’d struck a chord.
“Next year is going to be a big year. Billie will be six months pregnant when I go on tour. It’s a short one, but I’m already obligated. After this, Colby is going to need more of your time, picking him up, taking him to baseball, and generally doing stuff fathers do with their kids. How long do you think you can sustain the relationship between you, if all you do is take him to the beach every time you have him or watch TV in the winter months?”
“He loves the beach.”
“That’s your take, he tells me he’s bored, but that’s a conversation for later. I need you to come to the apartment for Christmas, and if you love your son the way you say you do, you’ll be here. Incidentally you may want to ask Colby what he wants to do. It may make your decision clearer for you.”
My heart was racing and without waiting for him to reply, I cut the call, deciding to let him stew on my words for a day or two. He was due to have Colby for that weekend and with only ten days until Christmas, I knew I was cutting it close. However, I was quietly confident when he’d had time to think, or if he spoke about this with Colby, he’d come.
