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Chapter Nineteen
Since being with Billie, I’d worked hard at bonding with Colby and I knew having a good relationship with him would be pivotal to Billie’s and my relationship’s success. Every spare moment we had, I had tried to ensure he felt safe and secure about me going back to my music.
By the time September came around I could see positive changes in him. His personality and ability to express what he wanted had grown immeasurably, and I figured all the work I’d done with him was paying off. He’d also had another birthday and at ten years old appeared to have gained a new sense of responsibility and independence for himself.
One day, Colby watched baseball on TV with me and he told me he’d once been involved in Little League but had stopped due to the divorce and contact time.
“You played baseball? Why didn’t I know this?” I’d asked, and thought about the trip to my parents’ place and my bedroom full of memorabilia. Then, it occurred to me, he hadn’t gone into my room.
“Me too, I was captain of my high school team … played Little League baseball since I was five years old,” I told him.
Colby’s eyes lit up, excited to hear this. “Would you practice with me?” he’d asked. This was the first time he’d asked me for anything. “My dad hates sports, it was my mom who used to come and see me play.”
During the conversation that followed, he revealed he had missed playing and being a part of his team, but had been reluctant to say anything because he had felt his mom was stressed and he hadn’t wanted her to worry about getting him there or home.
When he confessed this to me, the first thing I did the following day, was to stop at a sporting goods store. I grabbed a wooden baseball bat, a couple of balls, and a leather glove. When I suggested some practice, his big blue eyes came alive. Seeing his delighted reaction tugged at my heartstrings, he’d missed it so much.
Most of all he was thrilled I offered pointers and some coaching. When I saw he had a natural ability, I spoke with Billie and told her I thought Colby had a lot of potential. She agreed any sport was a great way of keeping fit and building kids’ confidence.
From what I’d learned of Colby, I knew he was quite reserved. Not as shy as his mom, but I figured it wouldn’t have taken much for him to close himself off and become resigned to fitting in with the needs of others, much like I’d suspected his mom had done.
When I heard him talk negatively about Logan, I decided to call him on Colby’s behalf. I explained how excited Colby had been when I suggested he try to get back into baseball, but told his father it was very important for him to commit to Colby’s practices and any games he played, even if they happened during his visitation time with his son.
I was surprised when Logan confessed he’d never played baseball, not even as a child. His parents were football fans, but Logan himself had not been an athletic child. We agreed I’d support Colby’s learning of the sport, and after a few more minutes of conversation, Logan himself agreed to facilitate him to attend any games during his weekend visits with him.
Once I had brought Colby up to speed with his pitching and batting techniques, I tracked down the coach for the Little League team near his school that he had played with. Explaining Colby’s situation and the reason why his participation had lapsed Colby was welcomed back. As a thank-you for the coach’s understanding, I offered to become a sponsor of the team.
As Colby was back in school and Billie’s routines for them had settled down, I had felt better about leaving them for a tour. Through my contacts I’d managed to pull together a seventeen-date tour in twenty-six days and this was a pretty full-on schedule.
The tour took was eventually scheduled for late September, which was much later than expected, due to rehearsals, Colby’s tenth birthday and having space and one thing or another. Most of the venues had been great about slotting us in, and I’d prayed my organization would keep Wiggy out of trouble and support Strings to gain favor with his bank manager for a while. My thoughts were if the tour went smoothly, there was room for a slightly longer one next time out.
From the moment we knew we were heading out on the road the band had been full-on with rehearsals. With those, and Colby’s baseball schedule, I had struggled to find some quality time with Billie. The closer the date came to ‘Tour Day’ the more I’d dreaded going away.
Leaving home had a very different feeling to every other tour I’d done. It was the first time I felt worried about leaving, and I hoped to hell Logan didn’t pull any manipulative moves on Billie and Colby while I was gone. I never worried about Charlotte when I left.
Kissing Billie goodbye was heartbreaking, and I was torn between feeling excited about playing again and the heavy weight in my chest over leaving the love of my life and my sweet little stepson behind.
The hardest part was actually leaving the apartment as we’d had so many great months there together, and I was sad our life was changing again. However, I knew it was necessary at the same time if I wanted the band to continue. I was glad there wasn’t a long goodbye as Hammer and Wiggy were already waiting in a car outside. Being picked up and not leaving under my own steam had reduced the time we’d had for long drawn out goodbyes.
“Damn, dude, you’ve got it bad. Does she take it up the ass?” Wiggy asked, totally disrespecting my wife.
The crack of skin on skin registered with me long before I realized I’d slapped him. Hammer’s huge hand gripped my wrist.
“Sawyer, for fuck’s sake, dude,” he admonished, but there was no way I was going to allow any man to talk in such degrading terms about my wife.
“Mind your mouth,” I ground out, as my aggression rose from the pit of my stomach. “Never talk about my wife like that again, do you hear me?”
“Yeah, fuck, chill, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry you opened that fat mouth of yours and let it spew shit as usual, Wiggy? Don’t you know it’s better to keep people guessing as to whether you’re stupid, rather than to prove it? When the fuck are you going to grow up and be a man?” My dark mood wasn’t my only reason for calling him out. We had a long month ahead of us and my tolerance for his less than subtle crass remarks had expired from that very first day he’d used wise cracks about Billie.
“Fuck, between you two, it’s like going on tour with two dads,” he muttered under his breath.
“Is that so? If you’re smart you’d keep your thoughts to yourself, or I’ll be forced to give you another slap myself, ‘cause I’m tiring of your shit as well,” Hammer added, which made me turn to eye him cautiously. He’d always been the peacekeeper in the group, so I imagined the previous few months spent supporting Wiggy since my honeymoon, hadn’t been as smooth sailing as I’d been led to believe.
“Are we doing the right thing going out on the road?” I probed.
They both answered in a heartbeat, “Yes.”
