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Chapter Nine
Logan was conscious, miserable, and feeling sorry for himself when he finally agreed to see me. Apart from a severe case of the shakes he had recovered after being rehydrated, but when I stepped behind the flimsy screen in the emergency room cubicle, what I saw was a mixture of pure hate for me, and humiliation in his eyes at being confronted by his ex-wife’s boyfriend.
“Did you remember it was visitation day today?” I ground out, unable to hide my anger. His eyes suddenly flared wide and I could see he had no idea what day it was. “Did you even know what day it was?” I barked again.
“So I fucked up,” was all he replied with a condescending shrug, his head cocked to one side. I wanted to knock it the fuck off his shoulders for the worry he’d caused.
“Yeah, and that explanation is probably a candidate for understatement of the year. Your kid bore the brunt of your lack of awareness. He’s frightened and hurting, and it’s the second time you’ve let him down. You remember the last time, right? Oh, wait, no you don’t, because you were unconscious, fucking drunk and missed it.”
A male nurse pulled the screen back and stared me down with a warning glare in his eyes. “If you don’t moderate your tone, sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“Sorry,” I replied sheepishly, and drew in a breath. I stood with every muscle in my body locked tight, my fists clenched, and took another deep breath while I tried not to throttle anyone. After staring me down for a moment, I must have convinced him I had better control of myself because he stepped back and pulled the cubicle screen closed again.
“Didn’t that affect you? That your nine-year-old petrified kid was left alone in a hotel room, miles from home when he couldn’t wake you up, when he didn’t even know where the fuck he was?” I shook my head in frustration.
“It’s none of your goddamned business,” he threw back.
“Are you trying to make me lose my shit with you? Are you goading me, Logan?”
“I’m saying your interference isn’t welcome.” The guy’s arrogance knew no bounds.
“Not welcome? You understand I had to take Billie to New York City to pick up your son, who was left in a huge hotel in a massive city full of potentially dangerous people, while he got you the help that you needed?” Averting his gaze, he stared above my head and the screen rail. “Hmm, I guess you forgot about that.”
“Why are you here? I’d have thought you’d have been glad if I died and faded away.”
“No, that’s the last thing I want to happen. You know why? Because unfortunately you are important to Colby and Billie, therefore you’re important to me.”
“Is that so?”
“It is, and you’re right if it was up to me, I’d have left you to rot in that room, but you’re Colby’s dad and unlike you, Billie wants to protect him from the devastation of not having a father around.”
For the first time I saw the light bulb go on, Billie didn’t have a father growing up while Logan had the benefit of his, it was the main driver for Billie keeping Logan in Colby’s life, no matter what he’d done to her. I stood for several seconds and watched him think on whatever my comment had prompted within him.
“Logan?” I asked when he looked as if he had nothing to offer in response.
“What do you want me to say?” he muttered, quietly.
“I’m not going to tell you what to say, that’s for you to decide.”
“Okay, I’m ashamed of the mess I’ve made of my life.”
“Wow, it’s an insular view of your state of affairs, but honest, I suppose. However, the first thing you really need to grasp is this isn’t just your life, the way you’ve behaved, the way you behave in the future, affects all those around you. Colby, your parents, and ultimately Billie, which now affects me and my family. Take today, for example. You have a son worried out of his mind, you have a woman who is concerned about you, even if you don’t deserve it, and I’m here at …” I pulled out my cell, “11:45 p.m. in the evening, why? Because you mean something to the people I love.”
“My family, you are here because of my family.”
“No, Logan, Colby is your family, and you stopped being related to Billie when you walked away, but I’ll tell you what, I’ll help you out here and say they are our family. I’m here because I’m being responsible … acting responsibly for their happiness. What have you done to contribute to this lately?”
“Nothing, I guess,” he spat, a note of sarcasm in his tone.
“Logan, I know you’re not stupid, far from it, you’re well-educated man, but in my opinion whether you want it or not, a poorly emotionally connected one. You need to learn the world doesn’t start and stop with you. You need to consider the needs of others before your own. I’m not saying all of the time, but look at you, look where you are right now.”
“I bet you’re getting a kick out of this.”
“You think? In case you forgot, I’m the guy who just saved your ass. You could have choked lying on that floor back there. While you’re lying there feeling sorry for yourself, Billie and I are the ones who felt the effect of your behavior on your boy. I’m telling you if you don’t adjust your thinking, you can kiss Colby goodbye, because as he grows, he’ll take more notice of your actions and he’s going to walk away. There are only so many times kids can accept disappointments like that.”
“Gotcha, it won’t happen again.”
“Damn straight it won’t, because when Billie hears what’s happened she’s going to apply for sole custody of Colby. You’re too much of a risk to look after a child.”
