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Chapter Twenty
With only one more night left of the tour, it had felt wrong leaving Sawyer behind at the departures desk. Had it not been for Wiggy, I might have been prepared to get to know the other two, but when Sawyer said he didn't mind me leaving, I felt relieved to be going home.
An hour on their tour bus was enough to make the whole situation feel sordid, with the huge oversized bed, the smutty innuendoes, and Wiggy's total disregard for Cherri's welfare. Sawyer hadn't considered any of this when he invited me to go with them.
Before clashing with his band, I would have regarded myself as easygoing yet reserved, but I had nothing in common with the guys in the band and didn't fit in with anyone but Sawyer. Going home had been a tough call to make because the time Sawyer and I had spent alone had been incredible.
* * *
The flight back to New York at Thanksgiving didn't feel as drawn out as the one on the way to Minnesota; perhaps because I had little to look forward to at home and heading to see Sawyer, I had felt like it couldn't arrive fast enough.
It was almost 6:00 p.m. by the time I arrived home and not wanting to dwell on the fact Sawyer would be preparing for his last gig, I immediately began to unpack.
I felt a failure for not being more supportive toward Sawyer, but it was only one more day and then I'd have him back.
With nothing to do and no one home, I decided to finish the romantic suspense book I'd started on my Kindle on the way back on the plane. I was about to fill the tub and lie back to do this when Tricia sent me a text to find out how my trip with Sawyer was going.
Tricia- Wellllll?
Me – I'm home.
In seconds my cell rang. I smiled at how nosey she was and answered. "Whose ass do I have to kick?" she asked in a hurried angry tone.
"Nobody's. It just wasn't for me … the whole touring thing, I mean."
"You and Sawyer good?"
"We're good." She let out a sigh of relief and I chuckled.
"Thank goodness for that. Wait a sec and I'll be over…that is okay, isn't it? I mean I'm bored and my parents fell asleep on the chair after two glasses of wine, the lightweights …"
"Of course, it is. Get over here," I ordered playfully with a smile.
Instead of filling the bathtub, I pulled a frozen pizza from the freezer and stuck it in the oven, grabbed a bottle of Pinot Grigio from the fridge, and organized two place settings on the small coffee table by the fireplace. The delicious aroma of Italian herbs wafted through the air and the pizza was nearly ready by the time I opened the door to welcome Tricia in.
"You're a mind reader. I'm starving. There was so much food earlier, but I'd only gotten out of bed with a hangover an hour before my mom served it all up," she informed me, bustling through my front door as she shook her heavy black wool coat off of her shoulders.
"I figured I'd feed you, get you drunk, and prevent you from grilling me about Minnesota and North Dakota."
Passing me a generous glass of wine, she swiped one for herself and curled up on my large comfy couch. I followed suit, placing the pizza freshly cut from the oven, and curled my knees to my chest on the sofa beside her.
Tricia adjusted herself at the opposite end of the couch and when my eyes met her curious ones, she grinned. "Spill."
Twenty minutes and many questions later, she'd been brought up to speed and by the time I was done, the pizza was cold.
"I can understand why you came home! I think even I would have struggled with a fucker like that too. He's a ratbag for trying to make you feel like you shouldn't have been there. Although, you know what I think? There's a bigger picture going on with this. Everything you're describing comes down to your former life with Logan."
"No, these guys were infants in comparison to Sawyer."
"Yeah, but you felt old because of that stuffy old fart you were with. Yes, Sawyer's younger, but history isn't about to repeat itself. From all that you've told me, my guess is Sawyer treats you better than your ex-husband ever did."
Blushing, I smiled, because the way Sawyer made me feel had consumed me at times. "It's different, and intense. It's not like the gradual love that developed between Logan and me. If I'm being honest, how I feel scares me to death."
"Scares you? What does? The pace, or committing to another relationship? Sawyer's age? Or that you think he'll leave you down the line?"
"Yeah, all of that," I confessed, pointing at her with a tired sigh. "It isn't only his age, although, I've kind of made this my focus. I guess the real reason is that I feel unworthy of any man right now. I don't know, perhaps some of my thinking is because of how badly hurt I still am. I still feel bruised by how easily Logan betrayed me, but I don't want him back like I'd wanted sometimes in the beginning. She's welcome to him."
"Does Sawyer make you happier than you were with Logan before Logan fucked up?"
