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“Cruz? Is that you, baby? I came home to check on you and found you gone. Where are you? Are you all right?”
“Hi. Yeah, it’s me. And I’m fine,” I said in a soft voice. “Thanks for answering. I wasn’t sure you would.”
“Cruz…what are you talking about? Listen to me, baby, just tell me where you are, and I’ll come get you.”
“No, I-I can’t. I just needed to hear your voice and tell you I’m sorry for running out on you. That makes twice now. I’m sorry. Sorry about everything. But I’m gonna go now. I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“No, baby, don’t hang up. Don’t do that—please. Tell me where you are so I can come get you.”
“I know you’re just being nice, but… you don’t have to. Don’t worry about me. I’m okay. Really. Nothing to worry about.” To my horror, I felt my throat clogging with tears and a single sob escaped despite my best efforts. I’d meant to be strong and act like nothing mattered, and here I was crying. My face burned with shame.
“Sorry. I’m sorry,” I said, choking out the words. “I think I just need to go now, okay?”
“No, just hang on a minute. Baby, have you been drinking?”
“I had a drink, yeah. Maybe two.”
“No more, okay? Not until I’m with you. Tell me where you’re calling from, and I’ll be on my way to get you.”
“No. I shouldn’t have called and bothered you. I’m sorry. I just wanted to tell you that.”
I hung up, whispering “I’m sorry, Daddy.”
But he was already gone. I’d hung up on him even as he was still talking and begging me not to. Because I was tired from the long drive here and fading fast, I decided to lie down and rest for a few minutes before I took the car back to him. I needed to just close my eyes. I managed to set my drink down on the coffee table and fall back against the sofa cushions. I tossed restlessly onto my side, trying to relax and listen to the waves hitting the shore before being dragged back out to sea. I tried to think of nothing else, but it was so hard to stop the thoughts racing through my head. I stuck my thumb in my mouth and tried to find that place in my head that soothed me. I guess I fell asleep still searching for it, because the next thing I knew, someone was turning me over roughly and shouting down in my face.
“Cruz! Did you take something?” Michael was shouting at me. “Tell me what you took!”
“I…what? No, I didn’t take anything.”
“Are you telling me the truth?” he asked frantically, peering down into my eyes.
“Yes. I just had a couple of drinks and I’m not used to it. They kind of knocked me out.”
He fell back against the sofa beside me and heaved a big sigh. “Thank God. You scared me to death when I called your name, and you didn’t wake up.”
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you. I was just going to lie here for a little while and then head back to Ft. Lauderdale to bring you the car.”
“But why did you come here in the first place? And why wouldn’t you tell me where you were over the phone when I asked you?”
“I’m sorry.” It seemed like all I could say. “How did you find me?”
“You called from the house phone. I recognized the number you were calling from.”
“Oh.”
“Damn it, you scared me to death.”
“I didn’t mean to. After you left this morning, I noticed the key on your keychain, and I wanted to see this place one more time. I loved it so much when we came here.”
“What the hell are you talking about, one more time? Are you planning on leaving me? On running out on me again? I won’t let you do it again, Cruz. What do you think about that? I’ll come after you and drag you back home! I’ll lock you in the bedroom if I have to.”
“W-What? Drag me home? But why would you want to? I know I’m not what you want.”
“Did I say that? Did I say that even once?”
“Well, no…”
“No, and I never will! I’m not done with you yet, and if you think I am, then you’re wrong. I don’t release you, boy. I refuse!” He turned away then, but not before I saw the wetness in his eyes. I grabbed his arm to turn him around, but he pulled away and got to his feet, storming over to the glass doors looking out on the beach. His back was to me, but I could see his shoulders shaking a little. I was amazed at how much my words had affected him.
