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“That’s usually how it goes. Your mother and I wanted more kids, things didn’t work out that way for us, but I can tell you that if she had wanted a whole baseball team and we could have done it, I would have given them all to her.”
Seeing how much my dad and I are alike makes me laugh, and in this moment, nothing could bring me down.
The holidays over the last nine years have been hard for me. Mom was always so worried about me, but I could never fake it enough to ease her worry, no matter how much I tried.
“I’ve given my assistant a promotion and delegated my work between the two of us.”
I see Dad’s head snap over to look at me. I know he’s surprised without me having to look at him.
“I owe it to all three of them to make sure I’m present in their lives. I need to make sure that I’m there for my family, both physically and emotionally. They deserve that and so much more, Dad. They are my everything.”
He reaches over again to pat me on the shoulder, and I don’t need his words to know that he agrees with me and is proud of my choice. There was a time in my life where the only thing I wanted was to make him proud of me.
Tanya makes her way over to us, and I smile down at her as she climbs the steps, coming to sit on the one just below me so she can lean against my chest. I wrap her in my arms, burying my face into her neck and spreading my hands over her swollen stomach. I haven’t felt any movements yet, and I’m getting anxious for them to start.
Unbeknownst to me, in that moment, my mother was snapping a picture of the two of us like this and another when Sophia runs over and joins us. The two pictures get a place of honor in our two homes and my office after Mom gives them to me as a Christmas gift a month later.
I stare at those pictures every time I’m feeling grateful for my life. They are beautiful pictures of me with my little family that I’ll treasure for the rest of my life.
I just hope that we can get through this next chapter in our lives without losing each other or ourselves. We still have a lot to get through.
22
TANYA
Christmas came and went quicker than I could pay attention. We spent it at the penthouse, and it was the most magical Christmas I have ever had. Waking up and watching my sweet baby girl open presents in front of the giant tree with the view of Central Park behind her, my hand resting on my stomach and the baby that was growing there, Chandler sitting on the floor with our daughter and handing her present after present. It was a memory I would hold onto when things get hard. To think that by this time next year, we will have another little one to join us. New Years was just as magical. We let Sophia stay up until the ball dropped, then, after she went to sleep, we stayed up early into the morning making love in our bed. I don’t know how, but it only ever gets better when we have sex. It’s like the closer we get emotionally, the more intense the sex is.
I rub my stomach as Chandler and I sit in the waiting room of the OB’s office. It’s time for another ultrasound to check on the baby. Chandler has come to every appointment since we talked on the roof.
After we had that talk, I made a promise to myself that I would put my all into this relationship. I can handle whatever life throws at me as long as I have Chandler by my side. The fear of not having him with me is greater than the fear I have over being in his world. The week I spent trying to figure things out had been torture. I thought it was best if I kept my distance from him during that time until I figured out what I wanted to do, but instead I just missed him.
It was like every inch of my body knew that I belonged with him. I had spent nine years without him, and by the end of that week, I knew that I didn’t want to spend any more time without him.
“Ms. Roberts?”
The nurse calling my name pulls me from my thoughts, and I look up to find Chandler already standing and holding his hand out to help me up. I smile at him and take his hand. He doesn’t let me go the whole way to the back until he has to for them to get my weight and vitals. The nurse gets all of my information and leaves us in a room to wait while she grabs the ultrasound machine.
“Last chance, you sure you don’t want to find out if you’re wrong or not?”
I smirk at Chandler, and he takes a page out of my book and rolls his eyes.
“I’m sure and I’m not wrong. We’re going to have a boy.”
I laugh, and he comes to my side as I lay on the table and lifts my shirt to rest under my breasts, sliding his finger under my bra for a split second, then lowering my maternity pants down. I give him a look, telling him that I know what he was doing, and he smiles innocently at me, all the while my body heats from his simple touch. This man can get me going with just a touch or a simple look, and he knows it.
His smile turns soft as he spreads his hand over as much of my stomach as he can and lays his lips against me to talk to our baby. Something he does often.
“Hey there, baby boy. How you doing in there? Momma keeping you comfy?”
I love to watch him talk to my stomach. I still say there is a possibility that he’s wrong about the gender of our child, but I secretly hope he’s right. I would love to have a little boy who looks just like him running around with Sophia.
Chandler kisses my stomach before standing and sitting in the chair that’s close to my head for partners to be close. The nurse comes back in just as he sits and smiles at us.
“Ready to see your baby?”
We both nod excitedly, even though we’ve seen him or her many times at this point.
“Okay, if we can see, are we wanting to know what we’re having?”
