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I don’t think either Chandler or I are ready to have another child. He is still getting used to being a father to Sophia; I have no idea how he would be able to handle two. I don’t even know if I want to marry him, let alone have a second baby with him.
I’m still getting used to his world and what I’ve experienced so far hasn’t made a good impression on me. How can I rise two children in the midst of this? How can I make sure that Chandler is the best choice for their father? Even after our conversation about his working, he still works a lot. I don’t want to have to constantly console my children whenever their dad lets them down. I don’t want to have to make excuses for him every time he doesn’t show up.
The timer on my phone starts ringing, letting me know that time’s up. I can’t move my feet toward the sink. I’m too scared to see what they say, so I just stare at them from where I’m standing.
I take a tentative step closer to the sink, my heart pounding away in my chest. Every step I take feels like there are lead weights strapped to my feet.
What am I going to do?
I step up to the counter and pick up one of the tests and look at it. The word pregnant flashes at me. I set it down and pick up the other stick. A dark red plus sign stares up at me.
I’m definitely pregnant.
I put the second stick down and stare at myself in the mirror.
Happy birthday to me, I guess.
Chandler knocks on the door, and it makes me jump.
“Is everything okay, Tanya?”
Not really.
“Yes, everything is fine. I’m almost done.”
I know I need to tell him, but I don’t know how to bring it up; I have no idea how he is going to react. In all this time we’ve been getting to know each other, whether he wanted kids or not never came up; for all I know, he never wanted kids and just accepted the fact that I already had Soph.
I throw the sticks in the trash, making sure they are covered up, then wash my hands. When I exit the bathroom, Chandler is nowhere to be seen. I walk through the villa to try and find him, and just as I’m starting to worry, I see flickering lights coming from outside.
Stepping through the sliding glass door, I see candles spread out around the porch, their flames the only lights to see by. Chandler is standing by the edge of the water that’s not too far away with his back to me. I kick off my sandals and walk up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist, running my hand over the tattoo of me on his shoulder before resting my head against his back.
“Thank you for today. I had such a great time.”
His warm hands slide along my arm, and even though I’m panicking inside, his touch brings me some comfort.
“My pleasure; we still have the whole week here, but I haven’t planned anything else. I figured we could take it day by day and do whatever you want while we’re here.”
We are quiet for a while, just standing on the beach, holding each other. He shifts so that he is facing me, his expression full of mischief.
“Want to go skinny dipping?”
A smile tugs at the corner of my lips.
Why the hell not? When in Rome, right?
“You don’t think anyone will see us?”
He looks around the area before shaking his head no.
“Nah, we are complete secluded out here, plus we won’t go out too far, so the villa will cover us.”
I look around the area as well before taking a step back from him and lifting my sundress over my head in one move.
His face lights up with his smile and his eyes are filled with desire and excitement. We don’t say anything as we watch each other undress. Once there isn’t any clothing left, he holds his hand out to me and leads me into the water until it is up to his hips and my navel.
He pulls me close, so we are standing front to front and lowers his head to kiss me sweetly.
“You are so beautiful. Happy birthday, baby.”
