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Soph woke up thirty minutes after Chandler left, and I feel a bit better when he comes down and spends some time with her, leaving only when our dresses arrive so we can get ready.
I made sure Sophia ate, had a bath, and was ready so that all she had to do was put on her dress and shoes just before it was time to leave. After she was done, I got myself ready. I took a long shower, making sure to shave and moisturize everything. I take the time to slowly do my hair and makeup. I focus on every little task to keep from having a panic attack over going out tonight.
So far, our outings have been small, and I’ve been able to handle them, but something about tonight feels bigger than the rest.
Just as I finish getting Soph’s shoes on, a knock sounds from the door, and when I look at the clock, I see it’s seven on the dot.
“Alright, girlie. You ready?”
She nods before taking off for the door. I follow behind her at a slower pace, and when she rips open the door, she surprises everyone, including herself, when she yells, “Hi, Daddy!”
As soon as the words leave her mouth, she freezes. I keep my eyes pinned on Chandler to watch his reaction. I was going to warn him that she was going to ask about calling him that, but I think she got overexcited about the idea.
Chandler is frozen too, his face a picture of shock, and I’m about to step forward and smooth the situation over, but before I can, his face splits into a huge smile and he kneels in front of her, holding his arms out.
“Hey, baby girl.”
She jumps into his arms, and as he hugs her, I can see tears in his eyes. I can feel my eyes well up as well. This is what I’ve always wanted for her. To have a father in her life that can wrap her in his arms and protect her at all costs.
Oblivious to the emotional moment she created, Sophia pulls out of his arms and jumps around.
“Let’s go!”
Chandler stands and sniffles as he chuckles and holds his hand out for Sophia to go to the elevator.
“After you.”
She takes off, and as I reach Chandler’s side, he stops me.
“I want to give you this. I know we need to talk about it more, but I figured we could start with this tonight.”
I’m not sure what he’s talking about until he reaches into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and pulls out a little square box. My heart stutters in my chest as I stare at the ring box. I don’t know why this never occurred to me, wearing a ring, but I’m taken aback by the sight of it. He opens it to reveal a silver ring with a large diamond in the center and smaller ones running along the band.
The only thought I have in my head is the fact that I’m going to get it caught on everything.
“Wow.”
Chandler laughs and takes the ring out of the box before taking my left hand in his right.
“I hope that’s a good wow.”
He doesn’t put the ring on yet, just holds it up to my finger as he waits for my answer. Once I look up into his hopeful eyes, I don’t have the heart to tell him I would never wear something so large.
“Do you like it?”
No.
“Yes, it’s beautiful.”
He smiles and slides the ring onto my finger before leaning over and kissing me on the temple.
“I’m so happy that I found the two of you.”
His words are soft, and I’m not sure if he meant to say them out loud or not. Before I can reply, he takes my arm and loops it through his, leading us down the hall to where Sophia is waiting for us by the elevators.
I’m in a trance as the two of them talk about what’s going to happen tonight. I can’t focus on anything other than the feel of the ring on my finger. It’s heavy, like he tied a weight to my finger with a cold string.
I know what all of this means, I know what it means to him, but something is telling me that we shouldn’t be doing this. It’s too soon, and just because he knows things about me that I don’t even know and he is the father of my child, it doesn’t mean we have to get married.
