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1
TANYA
I have to get out of here.
In a blind panic, I quickly snatch my keys off the bed, but I hit them too hard, and they fly off the mattress, hitting the floor with a sound that feels like electric jolts are shooting through my body and into my frayed nerves. Quickly grabbing the keys from the floor, I stumble my way through the penthouse. My shoulder is knocking into the walls as I go. By the time I’m in the elevator, my breathing is labored, and it feels like I can’t get any air.
The elevator dings as it reaches the garage, and I run to the car that I rented yesterday to escape, I just need to get out of this apartment and clear my head. Even just for a day. My hands are shaking so badly that it takes me three tries to push the right button to unlock the doors. The car finally beeps, and I yank the door open, sliding into the seat and quickly buckling before starting the car and backing out the spot faster than I probably should have. The tires squeal against the pavement as I turn the car around the corner to head to the exit of the garage.
I have to work at not speeding through the city as I head for the highway. Surrounded by all the buildings and people I still feel trapped. I make it to the highway and find the first exit that I know will take me to a back road.
Once I get to the road and see it’s clear, I’m able to push the pedal a little more and watch as the speedometer creeps up higher and higher.
The further I am from the city, the easier it is to breathe. I can finally take a deep breath and feel my shoulders relax away from my ears.
The road ahead of me is just an empty straight shot, no one in sight and no buildings to make me feel like I’m being trapped. Just the open road and green as far as I can see. I roll down the windows and let the air rush into the car, and as the wind whips my hair around, I start to feel the freedom that I was looking for.
Here on this road, I don’t have to worry about anything. I don’t have to make any decisions. I just focus on the pavement in front of me and let it lead me to wherever it goes.
After about thirty minutes of driving, I finally feel like myself fully. After all the panic and desperation I felt this morning, I know that I’m not going to last much longer and my adrenaline is going to wear off. I need to start thinking of what to do.
Do I go back?
Do I find a place to stay for the night?
What am I going to tell him?
The road starts to curve and wind.
I know he’s going to be happy about this, but I don’t know if I am.
When I first read the test and it was positive, I was in shock. I had wanted to run. Run from the apartment and run from him. I didn’t know if I could do something like that to him, but I did know that I was terrified of what was going to happen. The life he has doesn’t have much room for any kind of changes, and this is a big change.
Everything happens in a split second. I see the flash of brown, the deer appears in front of me, then I’m headed toward the ditch. My foot is stuck to the pedal as I fly off the shoulder of the road.
Suddenly, my body feels like it’s floating, my hands are forced above my head, and glass is flying all over the car. I can’t tell what I’m looking at out the windshield, it’s just a swirl of green and gray. Once the car stops moving and my hands are touching the roof of the car, I realize the car flipped and that I’m looking at the outside world still spinning around after the car flew through the air in a spiral.
I can’t move and my whole body aches. I groan and look around to see if there is anyone nearby to help. Placing my hand on the roof, I try and push myself up to see if I can try and get out of the seatbelt, but it’s digging into my stomach, and I’m trapped. I reach toward the lap belt and try to move it away from my stomach, but it’s stuck too tightly. I let go of the belt since I can’t hold my arm up any longer at this angle. I let it drop back to the roof, and I’m suddenly very lightheaded and can’t keep my eyes open.
“Ma’am? Can you hear me? It’s alright. If you can hear me, I’ve called for help; just stay still and they will be here soon. No, don’t move; they told me to tell you to stay as still as possible.”
I can hear someone talking, but I don’t know who it is or what they are talking about. I try to move my head so I can see who is talking, but I’m too tired and fall back to sleep.
“Hold her head and neck steady, I’m going to cut the belt, then we can pull her out.”
There are more voices all around me, and I just want them to go away. I just want to sleep. I don’t know why they are here, but they need to go.
Tell them to go away.
“Ch-Ch—” I try to talk, but I can’t get out any more before I start to cough. Something warm and wet lands on my lips as I cough something up. It tastes like blood. I try to move my hand to wipe it away, but someone stops me.
“No, it’s okay. Don’t move. We need you to keep very still, okay?”
I think I nod. I stop moving, then I feel like I’m falling for a split second before hands are all over me and I’m floating. The sun hits my closed eyes, and I squint against it.
The voices that are surrounding me are starting to fade, and I’m grateful that whoever is here has finally decided to leave and let me sleep.
I’m staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror when I should be getting ready for my shift at that local café. I take in my dark brown, almost black, curly hair that comes to just below my chest, my emerald green eyes, and my small round nose in the middle of my round face. I twist and turn my body to look at all of my curves in the Cozy Corner Café T-shirt and blue jeans I’m wearing. The shirt is a little on the small side, but I’ve gotten used to wearing clothes that don’t fit. That’s what happens when you live in a small town without much around and mainly buy from thrift stores.
