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Later in the day, when she couldn’t stay in the house anymore, she drove to where Danvers State hospital used to be. It was on top of Old Dodge Hill, as most of the city’s residents called it. Before the hospital was demolished in 1992, her mother visited her grandmother. Her grandmother had schizophrenia, too.
Even though she was too young to go, her mother had hated those visits. If she had known her mom would have the same issues as her grandmother, she would’ve researched more about her family genes earlier.
Most people had fears they would inherit their parents’ illnesses, but the likelihood of it happening was less than ten percent. She had researched and asked a lot of questions when her mom was first diagnosed. She avoided alcohol, street drugs, or any drugs for that matter, and tried to limit her stress.
Which is why she needed a visit to Old Dodge Hill.
When she reached the top of the hill, she got out and glanced around. A small portion of the building remained, but most people went there for the lookout. Emilie sat down on a grassy spot and stared out at the city, or what would’ve been the next city over if it hadn’t been for the overgrown shrubbery.
The well-kept secret spot was her favorite place to think. Right then and there, she was going to make a choice. A couple of choices.
Monday was speeding toward her, and Dean’s confession remained on her mind like a car on the tracks in front of a moving train. If she didn’t make a move, she was going to crash and burn big time.
It was understandable that Dean held a grudge against Finn. Dean had stayed by her side when Finn crushed her. The answer was clear before the date. But after being accused, she wavered. Trust was the foundation of a relationship. How he thought she still held a candle for Finn was beyond her, but she had to convince Dean otherwise.
Yes, there it was. She liked Dean. And then suddenly, the other answers tumbled into place. It was worth the risk. If she moved, their relationship was worth the long distance. She stood and cheered like a warrior. Her voice belted out loud. Finally, her head was clear, and even though no one was around, she wouldn’t have cared if someone had been. She felt like beating her chest and roaring.
If Dean confessed again, she was sure of what to say. If he doubted her trust, she knew how to confirm her feelings. All she had to do was wait for the right moment.
* * *
The next morning at eight, Dean knocked on the door. She hurried to the door, swung it open, and ran back to the stairs to drag her suitcase out. It was heavier than it should be, with three outfits for every day, books to read, and too many “if this happens, wear this” choices.
He looked adorable in a sea-green collared shirt, jeans, and brown boat shoes. The look fit him. “Hey, Dean.” She kept her voice bright. If things progressed, they’d be dating by the end of the night.
“Good morning.” His voice was low, and before she could touch his arm or anything, he took the bag, backed out of the house, and packed it in the back of the truck.
Instead of opening her door, he jumped in the cab and started the truck. She sighed, slow and long. It was to be expected. She’d pushed him away for too long, and he had every reason to keep a safe distance.
“Buckle up.” His voice was polite as she climbed in the truck. She raised an eyebrow but kept quiet while he pulled out of the driveway and headed toward the interstate.
Her phone rang, and she looked down at it in her hands. Ava’s second call that morning. After leaving Dodge Hill the previous day, Emilie had dropped by Gail’s house to appeal to her one more time. But she politely refused again.
Emilie didn’t know what to tell Ava, but she couldn’t avoid her for long. After another ring, she answered the call. “Hey, girl.”
“Hey, are you on your way? I can’t wait for this week.”
Emilie turned to Dean to laugh at Ava’s enthusiasm, but he stared straight ahead, unaware of her at all. “Yep, we pulled out of the driveway a minute ago. It’s going to be a good week.” Well, she hoped so. If she couldn’t get Dean out of his grumpy slump, it might not be.
“Don’t forget to stop by Mom’s house. It’s worth one more try.”
Emilie swallowed to loosen the tightness in her throat. “She’s not coming. I’m sorry.”
The phone was quiet for a minute. “What do you mean?” Ava’s voice broke. “She doesn’t want to miss work for a whole week?”
Emilie chewed on her bottom lip for half a second before responding. “No, I mean she’s not coming at all. I tried, I really did, several times. I went over yesterday to make sure she felt the same, but it was still a no.”
“No? How could she say no to her only child? Did she give a reason?” Ava’s voice took on a panicked tone.
Dean leaned in, as if trying to listen in on the call.
“Not exactly.” Emilie scooted closer on the seat, but he straightened his back and returned to snubbing her. Fine, she could deal with silence for now. She didn’t want to confess to him when he was in a bad mood.
“Your mom changed the subject whenever I brought it up. It’ll be tough not to have her there, but we’ll still have a good time. Don’t worry about it.”
Ava was quiet again.
“Ava are you still there?”
