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“Yeah, I know what we agreed on.” He finally takes the toast out, but it’s more a distraction than a task. “But things change. Feelings change. Haven’t you felt it too? Or am I just imagining it?”
He meets my gaze, his eyes searching mine for an answer I'm scared to give.
I can’t deny it, not when he's looking at me with such intensity. But admitting it would mean things between us would change in ways I'm not sure we're ready for.
“I-I don't know." My heart pounds in my chest as we watch each other. "Maybe...maybe we should see this 'relationship' through, and then see what happens."
His face falls, disappointment clear in his eyes. I hate myself for being the cause of it.
"Right." He turns back to the toast, buttering each piece. "Got it. Let's just stick to playing pretend for now, then."
"Right."
I reach for a piece of toast and take a bite, but the swallow goes down hard.
The rest of breakfast is eaten in silence, the light-hearted banter from earlier now replaced with a heavy tension neither of us knows how to break.
I take a deep breath, ready to say something—anything—to break this unbearable silence.
Just as the words form in my mind, Jacob's phone buzzes loudly from the bedroom. He stands up abruptly and heads to grab it, leaving me alone with my thoughts and a half-eaten piece of toast that now feels like lead in my stomach.
Returning, his eyes are fixated on the screen, fingers moving as he checks the message. I bite the inside of my cheek, debating whether to ask who it is.
Curiosity wins out.
"Who is it?" I ask.
He looks up at me, a glimmer of excitement momentarily breaking the tension between us.
"It's Gio," he says, placing the phone on the counter. "Seattle won their series. We'll play them next for the Western Conference finals. It's the last playoff series before the cup series."
For a second, the weight of our previous conversation lifts. The news is huge. The tension in the room shifts slightly, making space for a spark of shared enthusiasm. But as I meet Jacob's eyes again, the unspoken words between us loom large, casting a shadow over his excitement.
"I guess you’d better start packing, then," I say.
"Guess so." Jacob rounds the counter and kisses me on the forehead. "We'll talk about everything later, okay?"
I nod, and he walks back into the bedroom, leaving me alone in the kitchen once again.
I stare down at my plate, no longer feeling hungry. Instead, a knot of anxiety has formed in my stomach, making me feel nauseous.
Of course the nausea could be from the baby, but for the first time in a long time, I don't think it is.
I was prepared to improve my PR job with a fake relationship with Jacob Walker. I wasn't prepared to jeopardize it because of him.
Our faux engagement has been hard enough to maintain in the eye of the public, but adding a real relationship into the mix would be nearly impossible. Not to mention how messy things could get when my brother finds out the baby is his best friend’s.
I grab another piece of toast, grateful that Jacob going to Seattle might mean I have the time to think about what I want.
For me. For the baby. For my career.
For a life that’s quickly spinning out of control.
Chapter 17
Jacob
The physical therapist finally gives me the all-clear, and I can’t stop the relieved grin stretching across my face.
