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Chapter Nineteen
It’s been two weeks.It’s been tiring and I feel as if I have no more tears.
I miss him, terribly.
But I’m still angry. He’s still trying, but his pleas are more desperate than before.
While at work, I have to stop myself from walking into his office and throwing myself at him, because I know that’s not the right response.
We do need to talk. I admit that.
I need to allow him to explain his side of things, I know this. More than what he already shared. I need the whole story. But I need to get my emotions into check before that happens.
It’s Sunday morning and I’m walking through the gardens. I walk through the perennial garden, taking my time along the rows of colors, as I walk the path coming up to the waterfall, I see him standing there with a bag in his hand.
I stop in my tracks.
He looks devastatingly handsome, then he smiles and my whole body melts. His crooked smile, the smile that is genuine and not for show. He steps forward and I stop in my place as he approaches.
“I know that I’m encroaching on your special place, but I can’t let us go on any longer without talking. I miss you, more than a person is supposed to miss someone else, and I want to feel whole again.” He says holding out the bag to me. “You make me feel whole.”
I take it from him and look inside. I grin as I reach in and pull out a plastic container of salad.
“It’s just a simple Caesar, I didn’t want to overload you just in case you already ate,” he says.
“Thank you.” I offer him a smile.
“Would you like to sit?” He asks nervously, motioning to the blanket behind him that I didn’t see before.
I look at him and nod my head.
We sit by the splashing water for a few minutes before we turn to one another and say “so” in unison. I smile and look down at my lap.
“Let me,” I say. “I know freezing you out without letting you explain everything is unfair, but you need to understand how horrible it felt to be a deer in headlights at that dinner with your parents. We’ve been dating for months, and there’s this one huge secret that you didn’t share with me. It’s not like you were hiding that you didn’t really like salad, or that something small—no, this was a huge secret. Like you had this secret life.”
“I know. I should have been honest from the start, I was just scared.” He says.
“Why?”
“Getting into a relationship with someone is big enough, especially when it’s a work place thing. Throw in the fact that I’m going through a nasty custody battle, that I have a kid, is even bigger.”
“Let me ask you a question, what if our relationship took the next step and I moved in. How would you explain any of that then?”
“I was hoping to tell you a little sooner than that. I know, hiding this is unforgivable, but I just didn’t want to get you involved. My ex would have found a way, and I was hoping to shield you from it.”
“You should have told me.”
“You’re right. I should have told you and for that I’m very sorry. I know that I can’t reverse time, but if I could, I would definitely right this wrong.”
“Would I be allowed to meet her? Kady?” I ask.
We sit quietly for a few minutes, before I turn to him.
“I would love for you to meet her.” He smiles.
“This doesn’t mean that we’re one hundred percent back to normal. We still have a lot to talk about.”
“I will tell you everything, and anything. No more secrets, I promise you.” He says with excitement.
