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“No bacon? That’s abnormal,” I joke.
“Tell me about it. I could eat bacon with every meal, but now the smell makes me want to puke. And just chicken, yuck. I actually haven’t come face to face with it yet, but I read in a book that it reminds the parent of a child and therefore automatically is a common no-no.” She pinches her nose and gives a stink face that is too adorable for words.
“Pizza?” I ask.
“Pizza is always a winner. Always.” She smiles and nods eagerly.
“Awesome, I know just the place. It’s actually real close to here, by the grocery store off College.”
“I love, love, love that place. That’s perfect.”
We ride the 10 minutes to the pizza place in silence. We order and then take our seats to wait for the pizza to be ready.
“So, we’re going to be parents.” I exhale.
“We are. Weird huh?” She asks.
“What?”
“We were probably both thinking we wouldn’t see each other again and here we are.”
“It’s definitely unexpected. But I was thinking of turning the tables on you once I found out you knew Davis, if we’re being honest.” I admit.
“Turn the tables?” She asks.
“Well, I’m known to be a dick. I’ll throw that out there. Or at least I can be. I’m working on that part. I’ve been sleeping around while I’ve been in my constant drunk faze. And you humped and dumped me, I was gonna try to, I don’t know coheres you into sleeping with me again, so I can hump and dump you.” I shrug.
“Hump and dump. Is that what I did?” She asks shocked.
“Pretty much. You stole my opportunity away from me, and at first when I thought there could be a potential 2nd go of it that was my initial thought. Of course, I’ve grown slightly in the week and half since I thought that.”
“Someone can grow so much in that amount of time.” She deadpans.
“You’d be amazed.” I nod.
“So, you’re a slut?” She asks.
“Getting right down to the point, I see.”
“You opened that one up. So how many other baby mama’s do you have? Will little peanut have a sibling?”
I laugh hard. “You’re the only one out there. At least that I’m aware of. I’ve been consistent with protection. Apparently not 100% though.”
She nods her head. A waitress comes by and places the pizza on the table before us and I can see Tatum’s eyes watering over the pineapple I made sure was put on the pizza. She licks her lips as she places a piece on her plate, she then rubs her hands together, looks up at me and then dives into her piece. It’s comical, almost cartoon-like and quite adorable. She smiles as she’s chewing and I’m certain I heard her moan.
“So what about you?” I ask.
“What about me?” She wipes off some pizza sauce from her chin.
“Well, we’ve already gone over how you humped and dumped me. Is that, a regular occurrence, will I need to contend with others?” I don’t know what I’m really asking her.
“Remember I told you that you were the only fellow that I had slept with in the past 6 months?” She asks, almost irritated.
“Yes.” I hang my head feeling like a complete asshole for practically asking her if she was a slut.
“Look, Max. I normally don’t sleep with someone that I first meet. You apparently charmed the pants right off of me. I’m a red blooded woman and I’m horny as the next girl, I’m not apologizing for that. I don’t sleep around, and it’s likely that I won’t even for the next 9 or however months. We had a good time, as you put it I humped and dumped you. Sorry to take your man card away from you.” She takes a large bite out of her pizza and chews looking me dead in the eyes.
“Sorry. I told you I can be a dick. I don’t know how to approach any of this. This is new.” I apologize.
“It’s okay. Look, this is new for both of us. Your brother said it best the other night, we have 9 months to figure this all out.”
“What else did my brother tell you?” I ask, hoping that he didn’t talk shit to her about me.
“He said you could be a dick, that most of the time there’s a good reason behind it, or an underlying reason behind it. But he also said that you were a really good guy.”
“I gave you warning about being a dick.” I smiled.
“Oh and he doesn’t read romance novels. Those were Katrina’s.” She smiled.
