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She looks shocked at my begging. She observes me quietly as I wait for her to speak. I would get on my hands and knees if that would help. I'm split open right now, begging someone who has known me almost all my life to let me continue what could be seen from the outside looking in, a forbidden relationship, but it’s a relationship that is so right in so many ways.
Chapter Twelve
Bella
I stayed far away from Ben for the rest of the day. After Maggie left my office, I was walking on eggshells in fear of losing my job or pissing off someone who may or may not have heard that the CEO of Adams Enterprises and I were found in a compromising position in my office.
Is this my last day of work? Am I going to be fired?
Is this the last day I will have the chance to kiss Ben? Is he going to break up with me?
I have so many questions, but I know I need to wait until tonight to ask what the next step is. I didn't see Maggie after she went to speak with Ben, and I haven’t received any emails from human resources, but I still can't say that the coast is clear.
My anxiety is spiraling because I’m not completely sure what is in store for my future. Did I fuck it all up by falling for my boss? Could I have ignored the feelings that I kept hidden from everyone? Did I just lose the single most important person in my life?
I leave in a hurry at the end of the day and head straight to Ben's penthouse. I run past the doorman and am granted access to the top floor. When the elevator opens to his foyer, I remove my shoes and drop my purse on the entry table and go in search of Ben.
He's sitting in his library, my favorite place in his home. The lights are dimmed, the fireplace ablaze and he's sitting on the loveseat with a tumbler of whiskey in his hand. His expression is somber. Dread fills my gut as I approach, I can’t exactly what’s happening and the only sound I can hear is my breathing.
He looks up and places his glass on the side table, then holds out his hand to me. That’s all it takes for relief to flood my senses; somehow I know everything will be okay. His eyes hold the relief that I needed and my heart is slamming against my ribcage in happiness. My hand fits in his palm and he pulls me to him. I sit astride him with one of his strong hands on the small of my back while the other runs up the curve of my neck, cradles my jaw, then threads into my hair.
He pulls me to him. “Need you,” he whispers against my lips. “I need your kiss.”
I let him kiss me. The ocean of feelings in my stomach simmers as our tongues dance together. All thoughts of the problems facing us flee to the back of my mind as my senses take over. He tastes of alcohol and smells like the forest. My hands tug at the hair at his nape as I lean into the kiss further. His hand at my back rounds my ass and his fingers roughly drag to my thigh. He holds me as if he's afraid I will vanish. I press my core against the hardness of his cock and rock against it.
He growls and pulls back slightly, his teeth pulling at my bottom lip.
My hands come to his front and I begin unbuttoning his shirt in haste, needing to have my hands on his skin. Needing the contact to know that this moment is real.
“I'm so in love with you,” he says as he runs his lips across the sensitive skin under my ear. “I don't want you to leave me because of this at work.”
“I love you too,” I declare. “I love you so much. I can't leave you. I won't leave you, ever.” I reach in between us and unbuckle his belt.
God damnit, I should have worn a skirt today.
His hands wrap around my wrists and he pulls me away from him. He breaks contact and waits for me to look him in the eyes.
“We should talk. I don’t want you to worry right now and have you thinking this is our last time together.”
I gasp. “It's not?”
“No. Maggie isn't happy with me right now. She's insisting we update the employee handbook and add rules banning fraternization between staff members. We're going head to head about it, but I won't allow her to let this be the end of you and me. I just can't. Not when I've found love again.”
“What if you are asked to step down?” I ask him.
“This is my company. This isn't the Stone Age where it's a taboo thing to date someone that you work with. Times have changed. What we have is completely consensual. Granted, the business climate today is such that there is potential liability with inter-office relationships, but Maggie acknowledged that she never suspected there was anything happening with us, because we kept work and pleasure separate.” He smiles playfully. “Mostly.”
“See, my stubbornness has paid off.”
“Either way, I have a meeting first thing tomorrow morning with Maggie. I would like you to attend with me.”
“Am I supposed to?” I ask.
“No. But I would like for you to be by my side. After all, this affects you as well,” he says, sincerity plain on his features. I cup his jaw and run my thumb along his chin and up his jawline to his cheek. I smile as I lean in and brush my lips against his. He leans closer and kisses me roughly.
“Ben,” I whisper into the kiss.
“I'm not going to let this be the end of us. I can't lose you too,” he says, pulling back slightly. “Maggie knows me, she’s seen me at my worst and I explained to her what you mean to me. She understands, but I’m sure she may have some proposals in store for us tomorrow. This is not the end of us, I don’t want that thought to be in your mind.”
