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“Never.”
“Fuck. Oh, B, I’m so sorry. I knew I should’ve forced you to come back with me after I saw you. Something just didn’t feel right, but I didn’t say anything. I’m so sorry I let you down.”
“I promised my father I would play my part, but then things got complicated…”
“When you slept together.”
“Yeah… Fuck. I should have known better.”
“He really told Dimitri that your relationship is purely business?”
“That’s what I overheard,” I mutter as a fresh wave of tears fall down my cheeks. “Was I that delusional? I mean, was all the art stuff just a way to keep me occupied and quiet so I didn’t do anything stupid?”
“Perhaps…” Zara sighs. “But the fact is he’s been by your side pretty much every day since you moved in when he doesn’t need to be… Doesn’t he have security to keep tabs on you?”
“Yeah…”
“Have you ever seen them?”
I frown.
“They’ve not been needed because Alexei is always with me…”
“There you go! It sounds like he really does have feelings for you,” Zara says. “I think he’s likely covering his own ass by playing it down for Dimitri, especially if your relationship is meant to be purely business. I mean, he went to all that trouble to build you an incredible studio, and now he’s even enrolled you in classes, which is something you’ve dreamed of doing since you were a kid. That does not sound like someone who isn’t invested, B.”
“I don’t know… I-I’ve been so wrong before.”
“Bianca.” Zara sighs. “He’s not Jack.”
I flinch at the mention of my ex.
I thought he was the love of my life, until the day I found him fucking another woman in our bed. I always thought people who said you could die from a broken heart were ridiculous and dramatic. Until I witnessed the worst kind of betrayal and felt that pain for myself.
Not only was Jack cheating on me for months with one of our mutual friends, he got her knocked up too.
My father eventually found out and took care of Jack himself, but it didn’t help. My trust had been broken, and I’ve never been able to stitch it back together.
“I know you have a tendency to think the worst.”
“That way you’re prepared, Zara. I never want to be blindsided like that again.”
“Look, I can’t tell you what to feel. Ultimately, this is a very unique situation, and now it’s become even more complicated because feelings are involved.”
“I know…”
“What is your heart telling you?”
It wants Alexei.
The thought scares me more than it should because it shows how bad of a job I’ve done at protecting my heart.
I knew from the start that getting involved with Alexei would be dangerous territory, but I did it anyway, and now I’m going to have to suffer the consequences.
“It doesn’t matter what it’s telling me.” I try my best to build the wall back around my heart. “I can’t have him, at least not in any way that truly matters. I need to keep reminding myself of that rather than jumping into bed with him at every opportunity. It’s only making me more confused.”
“I get it, but listen to me, B. The way Alexei looked at you… That wasn’t someone who’s only in this relationship for business. Trust me, I think Alexei Koslov is falling for you.”
“You have no idea how much I wish I could believe that.”
