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“Zara?” My voice cracks, and the flood gates open.
I sink to the floor of my bathroom, leaning back against the tub as my emotions take full control, the sound of the water running doing little to calm me down. I can barely catch a breath as tears stream down my face.
“B? Is that you?”
“Y-yeah.” I wipe my cheeks on the back of my hand.
“Honey? What is it? What’s wrong?”
She shuffles about on the other end of the phone, the TV goes silent.
“Everything.” A sob tears from me and I clasp my hand over my mouth to try and muffle it.
“Is it Alexei? Did he hurt you?”
My throat feels tight and every time I open my mouth, another strangled sob escapes.
“That’s it! I’m coming over.”
“N-no, you can’t.” My chest heaves as I try to catch a breath. “I-it’s… I’m fine.”
“Bianca, what the hell happened? Because you do not sound fine.”
I close my eyes for a moment and focus on the sound of the shower running.
There’s no way I can explain what’s wrong without telling Zara the truth about my marriage. And if I do that, she’ll be in danger.
The less people who know the truth, the better.
But the weight of my reality is starting to crush me, and I need my friend more than I need to keep my promise to Alexei.
“Bianca, you’re scaring me.”
“If I tell you something…” I press a calming hand to my chest. “I need you to promise to keep this to yourself. You can’t tell anyone. I mean it, Zara.”
“I promise, now tell me what the hell is going on.”
Once I open my mouth, I can’t seem to stop. Everything comes rushing out, and I can barely keep up with my own racing thoughts.
Zara lets me explain the truth behind mine and Alexei’s marriage.
I bypass most of the details surrounding our two families and why our union was needed in the first place, but I tell her the truth of what happened on my wedding day. How my own father blindsided me into marrying a man I had never met, and how over the past few weeks I had grown to care for him.
“I thought he was starting to feel the same. And I know I shouldn’t have slept with him, but I was so lonely, and he was always there. He genuinely acted like he cared about me. I’m so stupid.”
Zara is quiet for a moment after I finish.
My bathroom has steamed up from the shower, and a thin sheen of sweat starts to coat my top lip from the heat. But I don’t want to turn it off just yet.
Zara clears her throat. “This is…a lot.”
“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth. I thought I had it handled, but—” My voice cracks.
“How could Emilio do that to you?” Zara snaps. “He really gave you no warning?”
“Nope.”
“And you’d never met Alexei before?”
