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"And so quickly as well," I say, shaking my head. "That must be like a Guinness Book of World Records for the fastest falling in love."
"Not really," Lila says, blushing slightly. "I think it was just a love at first sight thing. It happens."
"I can tell you that I have never fallen in love at first sight," I say. "I mean I’ve never thought that I have since college anyway. I realize now that I was never in love.”
"Really?" Elisabetta asks, and I stare at her.
"Yeah. Why?"
"What about that dude that you met at the animal shelter?"
"What are you talking about?" I ask her.
"What was his name? Andrew?"
I stare at her for a couple of seconds. "Oh, the guy from Iowa?"
"Yeah. Remember how you went to the animal shelter and you came home and you were like, ‘I met the man I'm going to marry’?"
"That's because I was young and dumb."
"Girl, that was last year."
"That's because I was young, dumb, and drunk," I said. "I had a hangover from partying with you the night before."
"Okay. I guess that part may have been true." She turns to the other girls. "It was hilarious. She came home and said she met the man she's going to marry, and then they actually went on a date."
"Ooh, what happened?" Juniper asks.
"You don't want to know," I say, frowning slightly at the memory.
"You have to tell us."
"Let's just say we went on a date to the grocery store." I shudder in remembrance.
"A date at the grocery store?"
Everyone looks at me in confusion. Except for Elisabetta, who already knows the story.
"Yeah. He was like, 'Oh, isn't this fun?' And I was like, 'Not really, but it's different.' And he was like, 'Well, you want to have a nice lunch, right?' So my dumb ass thought we were shopping for ingredients from him to cook me lunch."
"Oh my gosh, that sounds so romantic," Marie says.
"That's not what happened," I say, interrupting her. "So anyway, we buy all this stuff. It was like $350 worth of stuff. And he's like, 'Okay, we just have one more stop.' And I was thinking to myself, wow, he's really going all out for this date. Plus, he's spending a lot of money, which kind of made me feel bad because he didn't really dress like he had much money. But I was like, maybe he's trying to impress me. So then we go to this delicatessen. Mind you, we're carrying all these grocery bags down the street and I was super tired."
Elisabetta starts laughing.
"It's not funny, Elisabetta."
"It really isn't," she says. "I just can't believe it."
"Oh my gosh. Tell us," Lila said. "So what happened next?"
"So then we go to this delicatessen and he buys this Spanish chorizo and Manchego cheese, and then we get this French bread from this bakery and a couple of bottles of red wine. And then he's like, 'Oh shit, I forgot the caviar.' And I was like, 'Oh my gosh, you really don't have to get the caviar.' And he was like, 'No, I really do have to get the caviar.' And I was like, ‘Okay.' I admit it, I do like caviar. And then he gave me this weird look, which, at the time, I thought he was giving me the look because he thought I had never had caviar before. So I literally spend the next ten minutes telling him about all the different times that I had caviar."
At this point, Elisabetta is laughing so loudly I feel like she's going to have a fit.
"It's not funny," I say, shaking my head.
