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"You know what I realized?" I say, as I take another sip of my drink.
"No. What?"
"I realized that I don't live life for now. I live life for tomorrow and I don't want to do that anymore."
"I'm glad to hear it."
"You know what I want to do right now?" I ask him.
"If you say you want to make love, I can make it happen. I'll just?—"
"Nope. I want to dance."
"You want to dance." He wrinkles his nose slightly and I laugh.
"There's a small little dance floor over there. I'm sure they wouldn't mind."
"I'm sure they wouldn't." He nods. "But I'm not much of a dancer."
"Isn't tonight meant to be our fun night where we just do things that we wouldn't normally do? Wasn't that the whole point of this?"
He nods slowly. "So, you're saying if I dance with you tonight, I can take your anal cherry?"
"No," I say, blushing and laughing. "That's not exactly the same thing."
"I know." He grins. "Come on." He puts his drink down and stands up before heading over to me. "May I have this dance?
He offers me his hand and I beam up at him. I take his hand and stand up and he whisks me over to the little dance floor. I can see that all the band members are excited and happy that we started to dance.
He pulls me into his arms and we slow dance back and forth to the sounds of the jazz singers singing. The saxophone player has a solo and it reverberates through the room in a warm, melodic way. I press my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. I can feel the alcohol hitting my brain.
This is nice. His body feels warm and hard and comfortable. I smell his cologne and try not to shiver at how it makes me feel inside.
I'm falling for Kingston Chase.
It hits me suddenly, with a crashing impact, like a freight truck on a highway crashing into you headfirst, and I'm not sure what to do. It's our first official night out together and I'm falling for him. I'm seeing him in a completely different light and I don't know if that's a sign for me to pull away and run as far as I can, but I don't want to.
I know he and I are not going to end up like Max and Lila. I know that he's not my future husband and I know he's not looking for a relationship. I'm not going to lie to myself and pretend that he is. But I also know that I've never felt like this before in my life. I've never been with someone that made me feel so many different emotions and so many different firsts. And I didn't want it to end. Not yet. I don't want to run away because I’m scared he could break my heart. I don't want to run away from what could possibly be a life-defining relationship.
Maybe I need a broken heart to really feel like I’m living. Maybe this is going to be the start of my journey. Maybe this is where my life actually begins. Maybe it doesn’t matter how long it lasts, but maybe it only matters that I have this moment.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Kingston
"So how's everything going with your new assistant?" Remington asks as I walk into his office on Tuesday morning.
"Everything's fine. Why?" I take a seat in the leather chair across from his desk and he just gives me a knowing look. My heart pounds for a second and I wonder if he does know.
"I don't know. She's just looking cuter and cuter each day," he smirks.
“I haven’t noticed that she's looking cuter and cuter?” I shrug and pretend like I haven’t been paying close attention to her every single time I see her.
"Well, I feel like she's wearing shorter and shorter skirts and more revealing tops and there's a certain look she gives you when she sees you."
"Er? A look of hatred," I say and he chuckles.
"Yeah, something like that. So it's working out then?"
