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“It was hell knowing someone else told you who I was. It was hell, Ashley.”
“You let that happen.”
“And I’ve lived with what I did to you every fucking day we were apart and hoped like hell you believed in me, in us, enough to know that I would come for you.”
“I wanted to believe you’d come, but—you lied to me. You should have told me.”
“You keep driving that nail in my heart. I know. I fucking know.”
Tears pool in her eyes. “I didn’t want Smith. I wanted a way to forget the man I loved who I thought was gone forever.”
“I would never leave you behind. You should have known that.”
“You can’t possibly understand what it was like to feel lied to and left behind by the one person in your life you trust and love. I was alone. I was so damn alone.”
Pain radiates through her words crashing into me, cutting me in all the ways I’ve felt cut already but magnified by a hundred. “Everything I’ve done since I left was about getting to you, protecting you, freeing you.”
“From you? Is that where this is headed? You save me and protect me by leaving me again? Because if it is—”
“Never. Damn it, woman. No. I’m not leaving you, and you’re not leaving me. We’re ending this and then we’re going to start a new life together anywhere you want.”
“Then stop going hot and cold on me because that is not what I need from you right now. I need a future. I need something to hold onto.”
“Our future is anywhere you want it to be. Our future, Ashley.”
“Like we were? In Houston?”
That question punches me in the gut. My lips thin, and I release her, the sense of losing her already killing me.
“Aaron?”
Aaron.
God, how I loved being me with her, being Noah. I turn to face her. “It can’t be Houston. We have to pick a place that’s far away. That’s the only way I’ll feel like we’re secure. We need to pick new identities. A new place to start over.”
“But you said we were going to end this.”
“And if there’s just one loose string, we’re dead. You’re dead. I can’t allow that to happen.”
“Right. Okay. That makes sense. Where do we go?”
“Italy. France. Ireland. Pick another country. We’ll travel to all of them until you find a place you love.”
“We love, right?” She closes the space between us. “If this is about us, about surviving and being together, why did you walk away from me? Why did you say you’d help me find a place I love, not a place that we love?” Her hands come down on my chest, a warm shock that slides through my body and thickens my cock. I want her. I love her. I need her. I’ve fucked up her life, and there’s no turning back.
My hands come down on her arms, and I pull her to me. “Because the only thing I need is you. Where I live is with you. It’s not a place. It’s not a country. It’s with you, and one day, sooner than later, you’re going to believe that. You’re going to know that again.”
She wraps her arms around me. “Call Smith. He’ll help us. I promise you. He’ll help. We can trust him.” My hands leave her arms, and she tightens her grip around me. “I’m not letting you push me away. We can trust him. He’s outside of your world, and your world betrayed us.”
I consider her idea, really consider it for the first time. I’ve watched Smith. I’ve watched him with her, and I hate the asshole. He wants her. He’s into her, which is a reason to turn on me, but it’s also a reason to protect her. She’s what matters. I want her safe. I want her protected.
“Do you have his phone number?”
“Yes.”
My hands come back down on her arms. “If we do this, we do it exactly my way. Understand?”
“Yes. Of course, but what does that mean exactly?”
