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“Are you trying to scare me away?”
“If you can be scared, you should be. If you want, I can take you to Smith. I can plant you right there in his arms, and you can let him protect you for the rest of your fucking life. I’m a killer, but I’m also a man who has saved hundreds, if not thousands, of lives. I didn’t want to lie to you. It was my fucking job. I didn’t want to be setup, but I was. I didn’t want to fall in love with you. It was my fucking heart. So, yes, if you want Smith, I’ll take you to him. I’ll take you right now.” He releases me and walks away.
I swallow hard at the magnitude of his anger, and I realize how much his life has been shaken, just like mine. I realize, too, that he’s a hero, a man who has given everything for his country. A man who lost everything, even before the CIA, trying to take down a drug lord. And I think—I think I sent him mixed messages over Smith. I think I’m scared of being hurt and scared in general, and that betrayal I felt inside me back when I met Smith, when I lost Noah, still eats at me and at us.
Aaron faces me, his eyes dark and turbulent, his jaw set as hard as stone. “What’s it going to be? Smith or me?”
Smith or him?
I’m angry and hurt and angry all over again.
I want to punch him.
I want to kiss him.
I think I might just punch him.
I don’t actually know what I’m going to do, but I launch myself at him.
Chapter eighteen
Aaron
The minute Ashley launches herself at me, I step into her, and right when the crazy fireball of a woman that she is throws her fist at me, I catch her wrist. In a quick move, I turn her and press her against the wall, my legs caging hers. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“You’re an asshole,” she declares, her hair wild in her face, her eyes throwing daggers at me.
“I’m quite aware of that fact.”
“Such a damn asshole.”
“Also aware of that fact. Haven’t we already had this conversation?”
“Well, you can just tolerate the repetition. Maybe it will torture you the way you tortured me by leaving me alone all this time. Leaving me to think you’re some sort of an evil monster.”
“I am an evil monster.”
“A jealous, evil monster,” she snaps back. “I was alone, and you lied to me. I could have fucked Smith ten times over, and you had no say in it.”
“Did you want to fuck him ten times over?”
“I wanted to feel something other than pain. I wanted to make the pain stop. You hurt me, and now you dare to stand here and judge me? You dare to—”
“Yes, I fucking do, because I’m a jealous, evil monster, remember?” And if I stand here another minute with her pressed close to me, I’m going to fuck her while thinking of her fucking some other man. I release her and try to walk away.
She catches my hand and pulls me back to her. “You have no right—”
“I have every right,” I bite out, dragging her to me again. “You’re going to marry me. You’re going to be my wife. You don’t get to fuck anyone else.”
“I didn’t.”
“It damn sure sounds like you thought about it.”
“I did. I thought—”
“Don’t say it again, Ashley. We’ve had this conversation. I know what you thought.”
“Well, you can just hear it again. I need to get this out. I need to get it out now.”
