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“Don’t look so sad, Clement. Everybody makes mistakes. And you’re right. You’re job wasn’t even that big back then. However, in the future, I’ll expect better results.”
Hope rose inside him as he nodded hesitantly. Did that mean the man wasn’t going to kill him?
Reminding himself that he was a professional, Jeremy leaned forward and stared the other man in the eye. “How can I be of service?”
The man smiled.
CHAPTER TWELVE
More than seven hours later, just when she was sure Gideon wouldn’t return tonight, she received a text message from Holmes, the night butler, informing her that Gideon was on his way up.
When he walked in the door, she was surprised to see the hollowness in his eyes. If she’d thought the hours apart would give them both time to recover, she’d been wrong.
Her physical therapy session had been long and painful. Both her mind and body were screaming for rest, and Gideon looked like he’d had enough as well. That was too bad, because she wasn’t going to bed until this thing between them was settled. If she still had enough fire left inside her, then so did he.
“I was beginning to think you weren’t coming back.”
“That’s not who I am. I don’t run.”
“No, it’s not. And this isn’t who we are either. We don’t lie to each other, Gideon. Or at least that’s what I thought.”
As if weary to the bone, he dropped onto the sofa. “I had a choice to make, Eve. Your father wasn’t going to let you go without protection. After what happened to you… He just wasn’t going to allow that to happen again. By then, I knew you well enough to know that you wanted to work dark ops. Not only were you a natural, you had come alive again. Having any kind of bodyguard or protection would have prevented you from being able to do that.”
“So you weren’t working for my father while I was in training?”
“No. We stayed in touch because he was so worried about you, but I had made no agreement with him about your protection. My only promise to him was that you would receive the training you needed so you would never feel helpless again.”
Before she could continue, he added, “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to make it seem like my relationship with you, all the things we’ve shared, was just part of the job. That our connection is based on lies and nothing else. That couldn’t be further from the truth.”
She wanted to believe that more than she could express. Yet that doubt still lingered.
“Your father saw the difference in you. He saw the confidence you had in your abilities and how life and spirit had returned to your eyes. But he wouldn’t relent. He could not bear to let you go without protection. He confided in me that he regretted ever letting you go away to college, allowing you to have a job, a life of your own.”
That was no surprise. She knew he blamed himself for what happened. If he hadn’t given in to her pleas for independence, he believed she would have been safe. She didn’t know if that was true or not. She now believed that everything happened for a reason. In hindsight, she could see that the most painful experience of her life had become her greatest blessing. Getting her father to believe that, even now, would be a huge stretch.
“How did you get my father to agree to allow you to be the only one to guard me?”
“I took full responsibility for you. Made a vow…if you will. If he would let you go and allow you to have the life you wanted, I would keep you safe no matter what.”
“You’re the one who convinced him to let me train with the Carmichael Group, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
She had thought she had been so persuasive, explaining how she wanted to learn to defend herself, how she wanted to feel strong and powerful. Her father had listened to her and acted as though she had convinced him. But she hadn’t convinced him at all. Gideon had.
“I feel like my entire life has been manipulated.”
“Dammit, Eve. It hasn’t. I have done nothing to manipulate you. You needed the freedom to fly. I made a deal with your father to allow you that freedom.”
“Can you hear yourself, Gideon? Do you understand what you just said? You made a deal. I needed the freedom to fly, so you arranged it so I could. How do you not see the manipulation in your actions?”
“Being given an opportunity is a far cry from being made to do something. I have never coerced you, Eve. Every decision you’ve made, whether I agreed with it or not, has been yours. You own your triumphs just as much as you own your mistakes. I had nothing to do with them.”
Maybe so. Maybe she was making a big deal about something that wasn’t. But she couldn’t help but see betrayal in every aspect of their relationship. Everything had become coated in a film of his lies.
“All right,” she said calmly. “Tell me one last thing.”
“What?” The weariness in his voice bothered her. It shouldn’t. He owed her an explanation. He knew that, but still, the sadness she saw in his eyes, the grim set of his mouth, did something to her heart. Instead of blaming him, she wanted to comfort him.
