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"Um ... not really. I'm still undecided between forensics and clinical." His unrelenting stare makes me flush even more, and it’s out of my control, especially after my earlier shower …
"That shouldn't be so hard. But if you do need anything, you can always ask. I'm always available for any career guidance and advice." He puts the glass of wine to his mouth and smiles at me. He looks away, then drinks almost all of it in one go. I’m guessing he’s had a tough day.
"I'll keep that in mind, Sir."
The rest of the evening is pleasant. I can do this, I say to myself. This isn’t so bad, I’m having a lovely time … Dr McKnight opens a second bottle and talks about one of his latest psychology books he’s working on. Dr. McKnight is so interesting, funny, and kind … Shit!
The conversation soon changes to Amy and her dad visiting relatives and her plans to take her fashion business more seriously. It's amazing how being in the midst of two of the people I love most in the world can hurt so much. I glance at Dr. McKnight, a man I have loved for as long as I can remember. Would he ever know? What would happen to my relationship with Amy, my best friend for over 10 years, if he did? Now that I have the chance, I have to tell him exactly how I feel. He needs to know that I'm not just the annoying little girl who used to follow him around years ago.
"Ro ... Ro?"
"Uhh ... yeah?" I didn't realize that Amy had been calling for me. Dr. McKnight looks at me then, his eyes fixed onto mine. I wish he could see how much I want to be with him and make him happy.
"I was talking about my hiking trip."
“Oh! Sorry … It’s too bad I can’t make it.”
"I understand," Amy says sadly. "Well, you can join me next time. I'll be going with Matt and Chad."
"What? No, you're not."
Amy and I laugh at the scandalized look on her dad's face. Matt and Chad were also childhood friends. Unfortunately, they’ve grown into the kind of guys many dads wouldn't want their daughters to be around. But they are adorable and funny, a bit rough around the edges but still pretty decent.
"Relax, Dad. They're coming with their girlfriends."
"Fine. But make sure you call me every day."
“Of course! Please don’t worry.”
That night, after helping Amy pack for her week-long hiking trip, we lay in my bedroom talking about her dad's reaction to Matt and Chad.
"I'm leaving in three days. I wish you could come."
"Me too, Amy. But I don’t have any more holiday time to take. My boss will fire me if he hears I'm going on a trip with friends."
I took on a waitressing job last year. It’s not what I want to do with my life, but the hours are flexible and the tips are good. It’s just to help me get through college.
"That's because he has no life. Why do you work there anyway? You no longer have to pay rent since you're staying here."
"I know, Amy, but remember my dream of someday starting my practice. I know it's still a long way off, but it won't hurt to start saving for it now. Besides, I don't want to just live off you and your dad."
"I understand ...You were quiet at the dinner table. Are you sure you’re ok? I’m sorry I’ll be leaving you just as you’ve moved in. Will you be ok here just with my dad?”
"Yeah ... I guess."
"You'll be fine. I bet you and Dad will get on like a house on fire. You can talk about psychology stuff,” Amy stifles a fake yawn. I push her playfully and she laughs. “Kidding! If you get too lonely, just invite one of those hot guys in your class over."
"Amy!" I say, throwing a pillow at her. Laughing, she throws it back.
“Right, I’m off to bed. Busy week coming up! Night gorgeous girl.” Amy blows me a kiss from the doorway and goes to her bedroom.
I settle down into bed and think about Dr. McKnight in the bedroom next to my own. I wonder what he’s thinking about right now. I bite my bottom lip. I wonder what he wears to bed …
Chapter Four
Kevin
It's been four days since Rochelle moved in with us, and it's becoming more and more difficult to control myself around her, especially now that my daughter has left for her hiking trip. I pace back and forth in my office, thinking about her. I remember how I had come so close to grabbing her, when she came into the kitchen that first evening we had dinner together. She looked like an angel. Hiding my boner had taken everything in me. I’ve been avoiding her since Amy left, and I notice the question in her eyes anytime I shut off a conversation or when she serves me dinner. Rochelle may be young, but she is incredibly homely and intelligent. There's an air of calmness around her that pulls me towards her. But what do I do? What will she think of me if I give in to the fire that burns deep inside me anytime her face comes up in the doorway asking me if I need anything or when she makes me a coffee in the mornings?
