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Then she’d left me.
A year into our courtship, she’d finally found out who I really was, causing her to walk away from me and never look back. Though she’d known that I was a Kotov, I’d kept the truth from her, hoping that love would tether her to me once she found out that I was more than just a Kotov; I’d been the heir to everything that my family had built. So, with tears in her eyes, she’d told me that being part of the Russian Bratva wasn’t anything that she’d wanted for her life, and that if I’d truly loved her, then I’d prove it by letting her go to be happy elsewhere.
Unbeknownst to her, she had created a monster that day. Never having been in love before, I had let her go because I hadn’t known what else to do. Her tears and pleas had gutted me in a way that I hadn’t been prepared for, so I had ended up letting her go when I shouldn’t have.
So, fifteen years later, she was back in my life after making sure to avoid her completely, lest I lose my humanity completely. That had been my only stipulation to granting her the freedom that she had begged for, and now it no longer mattered.
That was also the reason that Maksim hated her so much. As my best friend since grade school, Maksim had been there to witness the destruction that Samara had left behind, and he hadn’t ever forgiven her for choosing her happiness over mine. Having never been in love himself, he hadn’t understood why her happiness had been more important than mine, and he resented her for refusing to look for a compromise, though a compromise wouldn’t have been possible. As much as I had loved Samara, I never would have given up my seat as Pakhan to satisfy her. Plus, by then, death would have been the only way out of the organization.
“You’re making a mistake,” Maksim repeated as his steps caught up with mine. “There’s no way that you still don’t fucking love her.”
“You say that like it makes a difference,” I replied.
“Look, I’m just…I saw what she did to you last time,” he remarked.
I stopped to look at him. “Which you should be thanking her for. If not for what she did, I wouldn’t be what I am today. I might still be Pakhan, but perhaps not the one that I am now. On the streets, they call me d’yavol thanks to her.
Now, while d’yavol could be translated into devil, fiend, Satan, etc., I considered myself all of them after what Samara had done to me. The first night after she’d left me had been the first time that I had ever torn a man apart with my bare hands, and I’d gotten such a rush from it that it’d been my favorite thing to do when the punishment had needed to fit the crime. I’d become inhuman, and it’d taken years for me to rein in the anger that I’d felt whenever I’d thought of her. Now, fifteen years later, hollow was what I felt whenever I’d think of her.
Maksim let out a heavy sigh, still wary. “As you wish, Pakhan.”
Done with our conversation for now-because I knew Maksim well-we headed towards one of the operating rooms, and two kryshas were playing cards as the body of Gilbert Trenton hung from suspended chains. Now, while Vlad Tarasova and Rurik Borisov weren’t two of my best, they were loyal and got off on torturing people. They were also good at it, which made them both assets to the family.
When I opened the door to the operating room, both men quickly stood up to show their respect, and I gave them each a terse nod in acknowledgement. Both Vlad and Rurik were on the night shift, so they were going to need to know that I was bringing someone new in, though they weren’t going to have to babysit Samara the way that they had to babysit our other two guests.
“I am here to inform you that we will be entertaining an additional guest, though your services will not be needed,” I told them. “She is not here as an enemy, so she will not require any special attention. I will be placing her in the observation cage, and that is where she will remain.”
Both men nodded, then Vlad asked, “Are we to feed her?”
I shook my head. “No. Once I decide who, she’ll be assigned someone that will see to her needs specifically. Your job is to handle these other two.” Both men nodded again. “Very well.”
“She is also not to interfere with your obligations here,” Maksim added. “Do not concern yourself with whether or not she can hear what you are doing.”
“Of course,” Rurik automatically replied, and with that, I turned to go get the cage ready, Maksim right behind me.
When we finally reached the cage, I said, “We’re taking everything out.”
“We are?” Maksim asked, his surprise evident in his voice.
“Why should she be able to sleep comfortably when I haven’t been allowed to in fifteen years?” I asked, making Maksim cackle like an old witch.
Chapter 10
Samara~
I didn’t want to get out of the vehicle, and maybe that made me a coward. After all, I’d given my word to save my sister, so it should be easy to honor it, despite what I knew about Avgust Kotov and the Russian Bratva. Still, maybe it was because I knew all about Avgust that I was reluctant to get out of the car.
Fifteen years ago, my parents had moved us across town because my mother had gotten a new teaching job. I’d been a freshman in high school, and Masha had still been in grade school, but we’d been excited for our mother. While our father had made good money as a security guard at the bank, Mom’s passion had been teaching, and she’d been so excited for the new experience and raise in pay. Though we’d be leaving our friends behind, with social media and the internet, it hadn’t been that big of a hardship to say goodbye. Plus, neither of us had wanted to ruin our mother’s happiness with negativity.
At any rate, it’d been the first day of school, and when I had walked into second period, determined not to let being the new girl intimidate me, I hadn’t ever expected to meet someone like Avgust Kotov. At first, I’d been wary of him because of his last name, but then he had assured me that he was merely a Kotov, not the Kotov. Naïve and dazzled by his looks, I had believed every word out of his mouth, and in a matter of days, Avgust had become my best and only friend at Tudor High. That was also where I’d met Maksim, as they’d been best friends back then, and it was apparent that they still were.
The thing about my friendship with Avgust was that he’d been three years older than me, sometimes two when our birthdays would align. Still, by his accounts, he’d been too old for me and had only pushed for friendship during those first couple of years. However, his chivalrousness had backfired, because the more that he had respected me, the more that I’d fallen in love with him. He had become my everything so easily that I hadn’t even recognized when it had happened.
Then, when I had turned sixteen, he had made his intentions clear, though he had still refused to do anything more than just hold my hand or give me a chaste kiss on the cheek once or twice. The entire time, I’d been dying inside for him, but he hadn’t ever crossed the line with me, and I hadn’t been able to help but admire his dedication and control. Now, while there’d been times when I’d been certain that he’d had to be entertaining himself with other girls behind my back, there’d never been any evidence of it, nor had I ever asked him. My teenage heart would have been broken beyond repair if he’d had been, but then it'd gotten broken anyways.
Anyway, the day that I had finally turned eighteen, Avgust had treated me to a day at the fair, a lovely dinner, then had asked my permission to spend the night with me. Though my parents had also been wary of him because of his last name, after assuring them that Avgust was nothing more than a mere relative of the family, they’d given him their blessing to date me, and that first night together was going to be burned in the back of my mind forever.
The first boy that I had ever loved had introduced me to things that had never crossed my mind before, and I’d been there for all of it. Whatever he’d wanted to do to me, I had eagerly allowed it. I hadn’t been able to get enough of him that night, nor any of the other nights that had followed.
