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Katja’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
I nodded again, still rubbing her good leg. “Then you have Noah Murphy’s wife, Shea. Someone tried to kill her, and for someone not of this life, she adapted rather well. She ended up killing two men while trying to save herself, and Noah had not been lying when he’d said that his wife was not above killing him.”
Katja shook her head in disbelief. “This is all so…so…wow.”
“Then we have Samara Kotov,” I went on. “Much like you, she got kidnapped by one of Nikel’s associates, and much like you, she had to kill him to save herself. That is how we knew of the cabin that the O’Briens have. Lochlan had patched up Samara after she had managed to kill Louie Manziel.”
Katja looked at me for a confused second before saying, “I still don’t understand what that has to do with what Declan O’Brien said.”
I let out a heavy sigh before telling her the emasculating truth. “As men, it is our duty to protect the women in our lives. For all our money and power in these streets, each one of us has failed to do that. You women have had to save yourselves, and that is a bitter pill to swallow for men like us. When The O’Brien questioned what we kept doing wrong, it was because we keep failing to protect the most important women in our lives.”
After a while, she just gave me a quiet nod, her hand reaching out to pet Naslediye. “I can’t believe that you have a cat.”
“I think it is more that she has me,” I admitted. “Cats are very regal, and Naslediye is no different.”
“What does her name mean?”
“Legacy,” I answered. “I named her Legacy.”
Though not a surprise, Katja finally said what was really on her mind. “I’m not going to marry you, Maksim.”
“I love you, Katja,” I told her seriously.
“I don’t care,” she replied just as seriously.
“You cannot sit there and tell me that you feel nothing for me, Katja,” I told her. “I would never believe it.”
“That’s the thing about people and feelings,” she said. “If the feeling is strong enough, you’ll allow it to make excuses for you. If the feeling is strong enough, you’ll ignore common sense just to achieve the outcome that will make you feel better, though not necessarily what is best for you. If I only cared about my feelings for you, then this would be easy enough. However, I refuse to be that girl, Maksim.”
“Which girl?” I asked, though I was pretty sure which type of female that she was referring to.
“You humiliated me in a way that cannot be undone,” she said, her voice sounding a lot stronger than it should be, considering. “Since the moment that I met you, I’ve been a puppet on your many strings, and that doesn’t feel like love, Maksim. In fact, that feels a lot like me just trying to find some light during some of the darkest days of my life, so can I even trust that my feelings for you are real? You manipulated me so expertly that I don’t even know what it is that I feel for you.”
Doing my best to not disregard her valid feelings and just lay down the law, I said, “You cannot believe that your life can just go back to normal after this, Katja. Even if you could get your job back-”
“What?” she choked out.
“I have already notified your work that you will be submitting your resignation later this evening,” I informed her, and I knew that I hadn’t done myself any favors when her jaw ticked in annoyance. “Again, you cannot go back to the life that you had before this, Katja.”
Stubbornly, she said, “I can move. If my association with you is a problem, then I can move.”
“You could,” I agreed. “However, do you really think that I will allow that? C’mon, baby.”
Instead of facing the truth, she said, “I’m tired, Maksim.”
“I will grant you that you need rest, but you cannot avoid this conversation forever, Katja,” I said, breaking the news to her. “Sooner or later, we will have to find some middle ground. There is also your grandfather to consider.”
She immediately tensed up. “What do you mean?”
“I have already spoken with Artur, and I plan on speaking with your grandfather later this evening about our relationship and what will be expected going forward.”
“You’re not even listening to me,” she practically spat. “What in the hell is wrong with you?”
“I am in love for the first time in my life,” I told her. “That is what is wrong with me.”
Doing her best to let out a calming breath, if I were a better man, I’d take mercy on her. However, I was in love with someone that didn’t love me back, and that made all the difference in the world. While I was confident that Katja cared for me, it was going to take a miracle for her to ever love me, and I knew this.
I knew this.
