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“If you want to accuse me of not being honorable where women are concerned, then I’ll show you exactly what it feels like to be a real bratva whore,” I snapped.
Instead of retreating in fear, it looked like Katja was going to dig her heels in, and I wasn’t sure whether that made me angrier or if I felt proud of her. The life that I led wasn’t for the weak, and though Katja had started out as malleable, she was proving to be quite the opposite. She really was just enduring all of this for the sake of her grandfather, and that pleased me, though it wasn’t anything that I was going to tell her right now. Right now, I had a point to prove, and she needed to learn her place. Yeah, it might be by my side, but she needed to learn that a queen still answered to her king, no matter what.
“Is that supposed to scare me?” she sneered, anger lacing every word out of her pretty mouth. “I’ve already had two different men threaten to kill me or rape me all within a couple of weeks, so you think that threatening to beat me is going to make me flinch? I tell you what, as much as I love my grandfather and would obviously do anything for him, at this point, a bullet to the head sounds a lot more agreeable than wondering if a man on the street is smiling at me because he’s just being friendly or because he knows what my tits and pussy look like.”
“Katja-”
“At the very least, Klive was honest about what he wanted,” she went on. “You? You violated me in a way that beating me or raping me doesn’t hold a candle to. Unless it’s done in public, a beating or rape can be dealt with privately, minimizing the shame. What you did…you might as well have just recorded it, then put it on the internet. That’s how violated I feel, Maksim. That’s what you did to me.”
“And your answer is to fuck other men?” I spat, the enormity of my error a glaring one. “Is that what you want? To be a bratva whore?”
“That’s what you made me the second that you fucked me in that room!” she yelled.
“I made a mistake!’ I yelled back, finally admitting it. “But I can fix it!”
“Go fuck yourself,” she seethed, telling me exactly what she felt about my admission.
Avgust’s words about losing her were coming back to haunt me, and for the first time in my adulthood, I felt the fear of losing something that mattered to me but also couldn’t control. Unlike my brother, Katja hadn’t chosen this life, so she wasn’t committed to me in a way that Akim was. Plus, even if Akim had taken a different path, our blood bonded us in a way that we’d never be free from one another. Katja was standing in this room for her grandfather and nothing more.
I stepped to her, and though her body trembled slightly, she wasn’t backing down. I reached up, then wrapped my hand around the back of her neck, holding her still. “I want you to listen to me, and I want you to listen well, Katja,” I told her. “Whatever mistakes that I have made with you, they change nothing. You are mine, and the last thing that you will ever be is a whore for the bratva.”
“Well, since you’re a high-ranking member of the bratva, it seems as if I already am, Maksim,” she fired back. “It’s what I’ve always been since the beginning of all this.”
“Then if that is all that you are content to be, then so be it,” I hissed down at her, no longer giving a fuck about Nikel or giving Morocco time to find him. After tonight, we were no longer going to play Nikel’s game. As much as I wanted to find the sonofabitch, I wanted Katja more. “So, now get on your knees and show me what a good whore you’re going to be for me.”
Defiant and looking so fucking stunning, she said, “Since you obviously can’t be trusted with the pieces of myself that I’ve already given you, if you want me, then you’re going to have to force me.”
“You are overestimating my character, Katja,” I told her. “That’s a dangerous thing to do.”
“You don’t deserve me,” she whispered both angrily and brokenly.
“I know, baby,” I replied honestly. “I do know that.”
Instead of slapping me or yelling some more, she surprised me by lowering herself onto her knees. However, when I remembered why she would do such a thing after what she’d found out, I realized that this woman was a lot stronger than I had originally given her credit for.
Chapter 28
Katja~
As I reached for Maksim’s belt, I’d never felt so weak in all my life. Though I’d been screaming a good game, he and I both knew that I was always going to cave when it came to my grandfather. When it was all said and done, when push came to shove, when my feet were actually held to the fire, I was going to do whatever I could to save my grandfather from ever having his heart broken again. I was not going to be the one to put that look of loss on his face ever again.
With Maksim’s hand lost in my hair, I freed him, then wrapped my lips around his cock, wishing that he didn’t affect me the way that he did. My humiliation and shame were real, and I really did feel violated from what he’d done to me, but it was too late for me. I already had feelings for him, and since there was no way out of this situation right now, I had no idea how to separate those feelings from being with him. I was officially letting my feelings for him complicate something that really wasn’t complicated. After what he’d done, I should hate him. Now that I knew what I knew, I should feel nothing for him but hate, but that’s not how feelings worked. Feelings were often a chaotic mess, and they were also a lot stronger than logic at times. It was the reason that we stayed when we knew that we should leave; because when things felt good, they really felt good.
“Christ,” Maksim hissed as his fingers fisted in my hair. “I definitely don’t deserve how good you’re making me feel, baby.”
I wanted to ignore him and just martyr myself, but I wasn’t that unfeeling. I wanted to be, and I wished like hell that I could be, but I wasn’t. Everything about this situation was fucking me in a million different ways, but I couldn’t deny that Maksim’s voice always managed to send a shiver of dark need down my spine, and the woman in me liked being down here, and I hated myself for it.
However, as I took Maksim deep in the back of my throat, he didn’t let me think on it for much longer. He pulled out of my mouth, and when I looked up at him, he immediately reached down, grabbed me by my shoulders, then hauled me to my feet.
Before I could ask him what he was doing, he turned me around, then pushed me onto the bed. “Get on all fours,” he ordered.
I did as he’d commanded, and as soon as I was in position, I felt Maksim’s hands on my left ankle, and my heart thumped at how he began removing my heels. It was such a seductive and intimate thing to do, and that’s not what I wanted from him. I wanted to hate him for what he’d done to me, so the more that he pleasured me, the more I resented my weakness when it came to this man.
As soon as he removed my shoes, I felt him push my dress up over my hips, and because I’d chosen to wear light pink panties, I knew that he could see how wet I already was. I could say whatever I wanted, but my body betrayed me every time, and it was something that he wasn’t above exploiting, and we both knew it.
I remained positioned as Maksim pulled my panties over my hips and down my thighs, and when he made no further move to actually take them off me, I knew that my little tirade hadn’t made a difference to him, even if I’d been justified. He was going to fuck me like a whore not worth undressing, and he was going to prove his point while doing it.
The sounds of Maksim getting into position rang in my ears, and shame covered my face as I waited eagerly for what was coming next. My brain and body were not on the same page, and I feared that my body was always going to win that argument whenever it came to Maksim.
