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It was a start, and I hoped that it would produce the results I so badly desired.
Chapter 25
Brooke
I sat in Marie’s apartment, watching the couple as they hugged and snuggled up against each other, giggling together instead of watching the movie we all promise to watch, yet I was the only one watching the movie.
“Stop it, Matt!” Marie giggled. She pushed Matthew’s hands away from her waist and he pressed a kiss on her cheek, telling her that he can’t resist touching her soft skin. I rolled my eyes as I scooped up another full spoonful of ice cream and sighed as the flavor melted in my mouth.
I looked away from the couple that was gracious enough to have me stay over at their place, and even though they didn’t admit it, I knew that I was being a cock-block between them. As hard as they tried to hide the fact that they were screwing, their soft breaths and disheveled selves when they emerged from Marie’s bedroom always gave them away.
I wasn’t mad about them screwing; they were a couple, after all, and I was the one who was invading their space as I struggled to find a place that I could afford on my peanut salary, but dammit, if we promised to watch a movie together, I very well expected us to do so!
“So, Brooke, how’s the apartment hunt going?” Matthew asked me, and I pretended I hadn’t been paying any attention to them this entire time.
“It’s going good; I’m sure I’ll find something soon.” I smiled as I got up from the couch and pointed to the kitchen. “Would you guys like some tea?”
“I’m good,” Marie smiled.
“When will you be coming back to work?” Wasn’t he a curious bird? I understood his concern; this year was the first time I had ever taken so much time off from work, and it was so unlike me.
It had been a shit-show of a year!
“I’m coming in tomorrow,” I told him as I switched the kettle on, and the blue LED light in the kettle lit up. For some odd reason, that always excited me.
“Cool. And you don’t have to worry about Asher showing up at work, he only came that one time.” Oh.
“I’m not worried. I forced a smile on my face as I turned to face the couple. “But I have been thinking.”
“Oh-oh,” Marie whispered, and she shook her head; my best friend had already figured out that I was thinking of something that could possibly ruin my life. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop!”
“I want to quit my job and move away from Chicago,” I whispered as I played with my nails, and the room fell silent as they both looked at me, shocked. “I got an interview in Michigan at Hope for Veterans.”
They kept quiet, and I felt the need to validate my decision to them because I needed my friends to support me.
“It’s essentially the same job as I’m doing at K9s for Veterans,” I explained, and Marie scoffed as she shook her head. “It’s even got a higher pay, and let’s face it, it’s Michigan,” I shimmied as I tried to sell the place to my best friend. “Grand Rapids!”
Marie bobbed her head as she chewed on her bottom lip, staring at the television, and Matthew just sat there, processing my news.
“It’s Grand Rapids,” I repeated as I raised my arms, looking like an idiot. “The land of splendor? Come on, guys, I need more than just silence.”
“You’re a coward,” Marie spoke up, shocking the both of us, and I laughed at her choice of words.
“How am I coward for wanting to move and better my life?” I pressed my hand on my chest, and she got up, ignoring Matthew’s soft pleas to let it go.
“No, you’re not moving to try and better your life,” she mimicked as she raised her arms like I had before. “You’re running away! You always run the moment things become unbearable instead of facing it head on.”
“I’m not running away!”
“Yes, you are! Michigan? Why do you suddenly want to move to a place that is four hours aways from home!”
“I don’t have a home,” I whispered, and she took a step back as she looked at me, hurt.
“What are we, then? Just placeholders until you find somewhere else to call home? And then when it doesn’t work out, what is the next city you’ll move to in search of this home?”
“Marie, I didn’t mean it like that,” I whispered, instantly regretting my words.
“You said it because you’ve been thinking it. You get into a disagreement with the man you say you love, and your big solution is to move away because I’m not your home? Don’t you see how fucked up your logic is?”
