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“How about relationships,” I asked, desperate to change the subject for her.
She snapped back to normal and laughed, “Well, I’ve never done very well on that front. There was a woman once, Deborah, my professor at university. We were very different. She was a lot older. It phased out when I joined the army. And, to be honest, it was for the best. She was a demanding bitch. And as much as that turned me on, it wasn’t really healthy.”
I tried to imagine her with an older professor and I could kind of see it.
“And, then there were women in the army. Mostly insignificant. You know, it was Don’t Ask, Don’t tell. So, really I never pursued anything serious until Sophia.”
“Sophia?” I questioned.
She sighed, deeply.
“Sophia was the one I thought I would marry and live happily ever after with. I loved her desperately. We were so close. We shared such a bond and we went through some terrible things together during our army careers. Only, it turned out Sophia had a husband and had been lying to me all along. The future I had envisioned for us was all a lie- she already had that planned out with her husband. And I was just…” she gazed off into the distance, she was a million miles away. “I was just something. I don’t know. A distraction on the long lonely nights in the desert perhaps. A friend when she needed one…” Stephanie looked so desperately sad.
I felt a gnawing sensation at the pit of my stomach knowing I was hiding things from her too. Maybe not a husband, but nevertheless a sordid past.
“Anyway, what about your past relationships?” she turned back to me.
Here was where I should have come clean. But, I didn’t.
“Oh, you know. Nothing too significant. I guess the horses were always my priority.”
Spineless idiot.
“Did you always want to become a horse trainer?” she asked.
“You know, I didn’t always plan on becoming a horse trainer,” I began, my voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia. “It all started when I was a kid. My older brothers used to tease me, saying that girls couldn’t control a horse like they could. We grew up surrounded by horses, you see.”
Stephanie’s eyes widened with curiosity, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. “Really? And what did you do?”
I chuckled, the memories flooding back. “I was stubborn, I guess. I didn’t like being told that I couldn’t do something, just because I was a girl. So I begged my parents to let me learn.”
Stephanie’s smile grew wider, a genuine warmth emanating from her. “And did you prove your brothers wrong?”
I nodded, pride swelling within me. “Oh, absolutely. Not only did I prove them wrong, but I also fell in love with riding. There’s something about being on horseback, feeling the wind in your
hair and the power beneath you. It’s like nothing else in the world.”
Stephanie listened intently, her gaze never leaving mine. “I feel the same,” she remarked, her voice soft with admiration.
“And now, here I am, following my passion and doing what I love every day.” As we continued to talk, I felt a sense of connection growing between us, strengthened by our shared experiences and mutual understanding. In that moment, I knew that opening up to Stephanie had been the right choice, a good way to deepen our bond.
13
STEPHANIE
Reflecting on the whirlwind of emotions that had consumed me over the past few days, I couldn’t quite believe how quickly things had changed between Ashlyn and me. From our first meeting at the fair to the sexual encounters, to our heartfelt conversations at the ranch, each moment had left an indelible mark on me.
The date had been nothing short of magical, a perfect blend of simplicity and intimacy that had allowed us to connect on a deeper level. As we sat together on the picnic blanket, exchanging stories and sharing laughs, I’d felt a warmth radiating from Ashlyn that had enveloped me in a cocoon of comfort and affection.
And then there had been the sex. Oh, the sex. Her hands were magical in what they could do and had done to me. I just wanted her more and more of it.
But within the blissful haze of newfound love, there lingered a shadow of uncertainty, a nagging doubt that threatened to dampen the joyous spirit of our budding romance. It was the question of
my past, of the secrets I carried within me from my time in the army. The hidden knowledge weighed heavily on my mind, leaving me feeling vulnerable and exposed.
Ashlyn had probed gently about my reasons for leaving the army, but I found myself struggling to find the words to explain, to articulate the pain and trauma that had driven me to seek the solace of the ranch. My memories were still raw, even years later, the wounds still tender, and the thought of reliving those painful moments filled me with a sense of dread.
“I’m not ready to talk about it yet,” I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper as I met Ashlyn’s gaze with a mixture of sadness and apprehension.
