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“The problem was never me, it was you not letting yourself be happy,” he says softly.
I open and close my mouth several times, but nothing comes out. I'm beyond embarrassed at this point. The last thing any woman wants to survive is being called out twice in one night.
“Let’s go back inside.” Cord holds out a hand to me, but I shake my head and take a step away from him. I can feel moisture building in my eyes and I want to get away from him before he can see it. That would just be the cherry on top of my shit day, getting pity from my billionaire ex-boyfriend after being shot down by his friend and getting fired.
“No, I want to go home.” I fold my arms over my chest and bite down on the inside of my cheek. Anything to keep the tears at bay.
“No one is stopping you.” Cord glances around the parking lot, his gaze landing on my deep blue Jeep Wrangler parked in the back.
“I left my purse inside. I guess I'm preventing myself from getting my own happiness again,” I grumble under my breath as I stomp inside the pub and straight over to the table. I hold out my hand and impatiently wait for Covey to hand my bag over.
I can feel Charlie and Cici watching me, but no one utters a word. They both know I won't talk in front of the guys, my sole mission is getting out of here. I’ll call them later to complain about Schmidt and Cord. They’ll listen and offer advice, trying to stay neutral in all of this.
I can't blame them. Charlie works with Cord and his dad is her boss, plus they’ve been friends forever. When her and Wyatt get back together – because they will – Cord’s his best friend and that will make things even more awkward for Charlie.
And Cici? She’s his freaking twin! It’s not fair for me to constantly put her in the middle, but I don’t know how to let her go. I can’t lose everyone I’ve ever cared about. I won’t survive that. Losing Cord was bad enough.
Cord was drafted four years ago and that’s when our relationship went to shit. I never thought I’d be pushing away the hot professional baseball player, yet here we are. We struggle to even breathe the same air now.
This is why I keep people at a distance. Sooner or later every relationship takes a turn for the worse and there’s no point of sticking around and waiting for it to happen. I’m better off being alone.
Now, I need to figure out what I'm going to do with my life, because clearly what I'm doing isn't working well. To start, I need to get out of this bar before the tears start to fall, or I’ll never live this down. Then, I need to find a new job and pretend I'm a real adult.
I snatch my purse out of Covey’s hand and spin around to leave without saying a word to anyone. Luckily, they’re all smart enough to keep their mouths shut and let me do what I want.
I'm two steps from the door when a large hand wraps around my bicep and tugs me to a stop.
“Macy, can we talk?” Schmidt asks quietly.
“I think we’ve talked plenty for one night. I’d rather just go home.” I pull out of his grasp and push through the heavy wooden door.
The chilly night air wraps around me as the wind blows through the stuffed parking lot. My hair whips around my face, making me thankful I forgot to put on lip gloss before I went into the pub. I wish I had worn something a little thicker to block the cold, but I didn’t want to get hot in the pub and I knew with all of us stuffed into one booth, we’d get toasty.
“Macy, stop!” Schmidt jogs to catch up with me.
“I already did. You really like telling me to stop, huh? That doesn’t work for me. I'm not exactly someone who follows directions like a good little girl. I'm more than likely going to piss you off daily and it’s never going to stop. I'm not the type of girl you want, Schmidt, so why are you out here?” I cover my face with my hands, trying to reign in my emotions before dropping them to my sides and staring at him.
“I just wanted to give this to you and tell you I'm sorry.” He holds out the scarf I was wearing earlier and I snatch it out of his hand.
“I don’t want an apology from you. It doesn’t change what happened. It’s better if I walk away and you forget you ever met me.”
“It’s impossible to forget Macy Hayes,” a deep voice rumbles, making me let out a loud squeak as I jump in the air. Cord’s standing less than a foot behind me. His hands are stuffed in the front pockets of his jeans and he’s staring down at his shoes with furrowed brows. “But, fuck, if you fall in love with her…” He shakes his head before continuing, “Sometimes you wish you could forget all about her, but it will never happen. She worms her way into your heart and leaves this unusual hole behind. No one and nothing can fill that hole. It’s not a square or triangle, it’s this shape that’s unique to her and she’s the only one who will ever make you feel whole again.”
“Cord,” I whisper as the moisture I’ve been able to keep at bay for the last ten minutes slowly trickles out of my eye and down my cheek.
“She’ll drive you absolutely crazy, but you know without her, your life will be empty and cold. No matter how many women you try to replace her with, none of them fill that odd shape she carved out of your heart. None of them quite fit your life and where you saw yourself being at this point.”
I shake my head as the tears come faster. My back is to Cord, but Schmidt can see my emotions pouring out of me. He’s witnessing the part of me I try to keep hidden deep inside of me. The part no one gets to see.
No one should see me fall apart. No one needs to know I'm human and have emotions. I'm stronger than this. Life has taught me I'm the only person I can truly count on and I need to remember that.
I slip my hood over my head and drop my gaze to the ground. It conceals my face enough with the moon light being mostly shielded by clouds. I hurry past Cord and climb behind the wheel of my Wrangler before he can get to me.
He’s not stupid, he knows I'm upset. I’ve never been able to hide myself completely from Cord, but that doesn’t matter. I just need to get out of this stupid parking lot before he tries to yank me out of this car and demands to know what’s going on.
Chapter 6
Cord
