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Chapter 19
Macy
Cord places the pizza box on the coffee table and holds out a plate to me. He already has one of my favorite movies playing on the TV and my favorite wine is sitting on the end table waiting for me to take a sip. I swear he’s boyfriend goals.
I wasn’t lying when I said loving Cord was never the problem. He’s so easy to love and picture a future with. He always has been.
Nope, it’s me. I'm difficult to deal with and I know it. I was raised by a mother who didn’t give a crap about her kids and left them behind when she decided to start a new life with a new family. My dad lost his mind and turned to alcohol to soothe his broken heart. It worked for a little bit, then it took over his life. He abused my brother and tried to abuse me, but Liam protected me time and time again. He almost lost his life to save mine, and I’ll never be able to thank him enough for that.
After growing up with those types of parents, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never have love in my life. Not a forever type of love. Nope, everyone walks away eventually. Especially the people who are supposed to care about you. They always leave.
I take a seat on the couch next to Cord and quietly eat my pizza. I know Cord’s giving me time to process everything, but I'll have to give him an answer before I go home tonight. I can't keep leading him on and not make a decision.
“If we do this…” I trail off, trying to gather my thoughts. I don’t know how to say this, but I want to make sure we’re both on the same page.
“Yeah?” He sits a little straighter and angles his body towards me, giving me his full attention.
“If we do this, I need you to be honest with me. If you realize you don’t want to date me anymore, I need you to tell me right away. Don’t wait until the end of the month. If someone else comes along and you want to be with them, I need you to tell me. I won't survive my heart being broken, Cord.” I barely get the words out as my eyes fill with tears. It’s not often I let myself be vulnerable in front of someone else, but Cord’s probably witnessed my breakdowns more often than anyone else. He handles them with care and knows exactly how to help me.
He places his plate on the coffee table before grabbing mine and doing the same. Then he’s lifting me into the air like I weigh nothing and depositing me on his lap. He stares deep into my eyes and I'm reminded of all the times we’ve been real and honest with each other over the years. He was the one person I could trust and I let him go because I didn’t think I was enough for him.
“You’re so beautiful when you don’t try to hide behind a mask,” he murmurs, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I love seeing this broken woman and the raw emotions you try to avoid.”
“I don’t want to be broken anymore, Cord.” The first tear slips down my cheek, but it doesn’t make it far before Cord’s brushing it away with the pad of his thumb.
“Everyone’s broken, baby. Some people hide it better than others, but everyone’s broken in some way or another.”
“I need you to promise me those things before I agree to a month of really trying to have a relationship with you again,” I urge him. I feel like I'm begging him to love me, but I know he deserves better than me. I'm just too selfish to give him up. I have no doubt he’s going to realize I'm not good enough sooner or later though.
“Mace, I promise to love you for the rest of my life. I promise no other woman will ever come between us. I promise my feelings won't change, but if by some divine intervention they do, I’ll tell you right away.”
“Divine intervention?” I quirk a brow.
“Only God could change my feelings, sweetheart. No woman has a chance of stealing me away from you.” He cups my cheeks in his large hands and shakes his head with a small smile. “I’ve been dreaming of another chance with you… Are we doing this?”
“Yeah, but only for a month.”
“And then we reevaluate.” He nods his head.
He twists me to face him until I’m straddling his lap. My skirt bunches around my waist, but I don’t care. He’s seen me like this more times than I can count and I'm not going to start getting embarrassed now.
I place my hands on his chest and grin when he cups my ass, tugging me closer.
“I swear every time I see you at work I get turned on. These outfits are such a tease.” He glances down at my cleavage before meeting my eyes again.
“I know. That’s why I keep wearing them.”
“You’re dressing like this for me?” His brows raise in surprise. He’s so adorable.
“Yup, anything to get your attention.”
“If you’re in the room, my attention is already on you, baby.” He presses a soft kiss to my lips. It’s too quick. I'm left wanting more and he knows it. “You can't be comfortable in this though.” He tugs on my jacket and skirt, frowning at the tight fabric.
“I'm not.” I chuckle. “Normally I strip out of this as soon as I get home from work.”
Without a word, Cord strips his shirt off and places it in my lap. He carefully unbuttons my jacket and pushes it down my shoulders. He lets his gaze roam over my body before he grips the hem of my lace tank top and slowly pulls it over my head.
He sucks in a sharp breath as he takes in my lacy bra that’s barely containing my breasts. He squeezes his eyes and exhales before slipping his tee over my head and waiting for me to put my arms through the holes. His shirt swallows me up and I know if I were standing, it would come to right above my knees.
