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“I’ll give you whatever you want, Mace.”
“I don’t know. Is it really smart for us to get back together?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean we already crashed and burned. Can we really make it work again?” Her brows furrow and she shakes her head like she’s trying to sort through all of the thoughts jumbled in there.
“That’s up to you and how much you want to fight for our relationship,” I whisper, wishing I could take away all of her fears and worries. I wish she could see things from my perspective. How much I love her and the future I can picture with her.
“I want to fight for it… I just don’t know if it will be enough.”
I don’t have a response. I need to think for a few minutes before I say anything more. I want to make sure it’s the best answer I can give her.
I take a step back and Macy’s expression falls. Tears gather in her eyes and I can tell she thinks I'm walking away before we can even start again.
I take her hand in mine and lead her into the house. We step into the kitchen and I keep tugging her towards the living room, then down the hall and into my bedroom. I motion for her to take a seat on my bed and I grab my first aid kit from beneath the bathroom sink. These scrapes need to be cleaned and covered, and she volunteered to do it.
Placing the box on the bed, I grab a few things out of it, then whip off my shirt and lay down in the middle of the bed. Macy eyes me for a minute before she crawls up the bed and gently brushes her fingers over my chest. She carefully cleans my scrapes off with disinfectant, then she puts a small amount of ointment on them and covers it with bandages. This isn't the first time she’s treated my wounds from sliding into a base and I really hope it isn't the last.
When she’s done, I wait while she cleans up, then hold my arm open for her.
“Come over here.”
I blow out a breath when she doesn’t fight me. She lays at my side and rests her head on my chest, letting me wrap my arm around her and keep her close. I press a lingering kiss to her head and breathe in her delicious scent. I never figured out what the smell is, but it’s unmistakably Macy.
“I want you to give me a month.”
“A month for what?” She peeks up at me.
“Well, the entire team thinks we’re dating. Give me a month to prove to you we can make this work. At the end of the month, if you’re happy, we continue dating for real. If you don’t want to keep dating me, we break up and end our fake dating too. Everyone will know you’re single and I’ll stop trying.”
“Yeah, ok.” She snorts out a laugh, knowing how difficult that would be for me.
“I’ll keep my distance and let you live your life. I can't make you love me, Mace. If I could, I would’ve done it long ago.”
“Loving you was never the problem,” she whispers, placing a hand on my stomach.
“Then what was?”
“Knowing I'm not good enough. Knowing one day someone could come along and snatch you away from me.”
“That could never happen. You’ve always been it for me.”
I wrap both arms around her and hold onto her like if I let go, she’ll disappear altogether. We’re silent for a long time, just enjoying being so close to each other. I know the years of fighting have taken a toll on me and I'm sure she’d say the same. It’s nice to not fight for once.
“What do you want for dinner? I'm going to order something,” I murmur almost an hour later.
“Can we just have pizza?”
“There’s my girl.” I chuckle.
Macy seems high maintenance, but in reality, she’s really down to Earth and simple. Give the girl a pizza and a movie, and she’s happy.
“Pepperoni or buffalo chicken?”
“Buffalo chicken.” She grins up at me, making me think of how often we laid like this in bed. I’ve missed this so much more than I realized.
I just hope I can make this a constant in my future, because I'm not sure what I’ll do if next month she tells me she isn't happy and wants to break up again.
