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“What if it’s too late. What if he doesn’t come back and ...”
“Hey,” Cade orders, pulling back and meeting my eyes when I look up at him. “He’ll come back. Spike doesn’t leave those he loves. He just needs time. You need to give him time.”
“This club is his whole world, and nobody is helping him.”
Cade glances at Jackson, but I don’t bother.
I swipe my tears and get to my feet, my legs shaking as Cade stands beside me. Now, I look to Jackson. “He might have done the wrong thing, and I know you have rules, but above all of that you should have realized something wasn’t right. You should have listened. Tried ... Done something.”
Jackson doesn’t answer me, but his eyes have softened a little now.
I turn, walking out.
I don’t want to say anything more.
I just want to get home to my babies and hold them tight.
The entire drive home my hands shake, but I try to calm myself down. I don’t want Danny to see me like this, to wonder what’s wrong. He’s a smart boy, and he’ll know that I’m not okay. I can’t do that to him. Not when he is already missing his daddy. So, I wait until my face isn’t so red and my eyes aren’t so puffy, and I walk through the front door.
Addison knows something is wrong right away.
She knows me almost better than Spike.
Danny runs over, and I lift him into my arms, forcing a smile for my boy. “Hi, baby.”
“Truck!” he cries, waving his truck. “Mommy!”
“That’s a cool truck, buddy.”
I put him down and he runs off. My shoulders slump as Addi walks over to me, and I see she’s the only one here now.
“Mercy is asleep. Now, you’re going to tell me why you’ve been crying.”
“I found Spike, he was at the club watching people ...”
Addison’s eyes flash and she straightens. “That little fucking pervert, I’m going to go down there and give him what for. I swear, he will wish he never met me by the time I’m done with him.”
I shake my head, feeling nothing but empty numbness. “He told me he doesn’t know what he wants.”
Her eyes go from angry to sympathetic as she steps forward, pulling me into her arms. I let her hang onto me, because right now I’m afraid I might fall. If I do, I don’t know that I’ll get back up.
“Honey, he’s going through something, but I promise you that man isn’t going to leave you or those kids. I know that as well as you do. He just needs to process whatever is going on in his brain.”
Pulling back, I nod, because I know she’s right.
I know Spike loves me, and I know he’d do anything for us. I know he’ll come back, but my fear is that he’ll come back a different person. Something is eating away at him, and unless he deals with it, it will only get worse. I am scared that he’ll sink too deep and he won’t be able to climb back out.
“I’m worried about him, but every time we talk right now, we fight, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“I’ll talk to him. You need to go back to school and get yourself back on track, it has been a crappy few weeks. Don’t worry about Spike. You’re too close to the situation and it will make things harder.”
I nod, swallowing.
I hope she’s right.
I really, really hope she’s right.
11 – Ciara
