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Guilt that I found this out behind his back, anger at Aydin for an unwanted, possibly irrelevant exposition of a painful, chaotic childhood.
Gratitude for some insight into the man I love.
A searing hurt deep in my chest that Dante hadn’t told me this himself. Or maybe he would have with time but thanks to Aydin, I’ll never know.
But above all, I feel a fierce, uncontrollable desire to just be with Dante. To be whatever he needs right now.
“Thank you for telling me,” I say, putting away my glass of tea. The ice has mostly melted now, leaving the drink watery and unsatisfying. The craving for pure, crunchy ice is starting to resurface.
I’m about to make an excuse to leave, to retreat back to the sanctuary of my room when Aydin drops another bombshell.
“He’s in Chicago, you know. He arrived this morning. He won’t come here, though. Nico has declared full retaliation against the Irish, and Dante is leaving for Boston tomorrow. He’ll be gone until the war is over. Two, maybe three weeks.”
Panic grips me hard. Three weeks? I can’t wait that long to see him.
“How do you know Nico has declared a war?” I manage to speak past the lump in my throat.
Aydin only shrugs and turns away.
I feel a frisson of unease. I think it’s wildly inappropriate that Aydin knows so much about the Outfit’s plans. Does Dante know that his father’s house staff are aware of his itinerary?
Suddenly, I can’t wait to see him. Even if he can’t be emotionally available, surely he’ll be interested to know that the Fortress isn’t as safe as he thinks it is.
“I’d like to see him.”
Aydin shakes her head. “I can try to get him to scribble a note, but he won’t come here.”
“But I can go to him. Can you get me to him?” I hate the desperation in my voice and the fact that I’m having to reach a man I love through a go-between who, frankly, is pissing me off by how much she seems to know about everything. But I have no choice or pride left at this point. I want to see Dante too much to care.
Aydin pauses, then smiles. “I think you might be the one person in the world he needs to see right now. He loves you, Addy. He never stopped loving you. He’s desperate for you. Maybe if he knew how much you accept him for everything he is . . .”
Aydin trails off, and I stand frozen, caught between the safety of the mansion and the pull of my heart.
“I can arrange a car to take you,” Aydin’s voice sounds firm, almost authoritative. “And Dante can bring you back in the morning.”
On one hand, leaving the safety of the mansion now terrifies me. I’ve been hidden away here for weeks, presumed dead by the outside world. The thought of stepping beyond these walls terrifies me.
But on the other hand . . . Dante. The image of him alone in his penthouse, wrestling with the darkness of what he’s had to do, makes my heart ache. And then there’s the war. My father—no, Benjamin, I remind myself—is out there, potentially in Dante’s crosshairs. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. If I could just talk to Dante, and make Benjamin understand that I’m alive, maybe we could stop this bloodshed before it goes too far.
I open my eyes, meeting Aydin’s steady gaze. “Okay,” I say, my voice stronger than I feel. “I’ll go.”
Relief flashes across Aydin’s face, so quickly I almost miss it. She nods, already turning to make the arrangements. “I’ll have a car ready in thirty minutes. Pack light—just essentials for overnight and come straight down and through these doors—they’ll be open in exactly thirty minutes from now.”
As she speaks, she moves to a locked drawer, extracting a small black device. I’m shocked to see anything remotely resembling a cell phone after weeks of being cut off. “It’s a burner phone,” she explains, handing it to me. “It won’t work until you leave the grounds. Signor Dante’s number is on speed dial 1. Use it only in an emergency.”
Another frisson of unease runs through me. Why would I need an emergency between here and Dante’s beach house? But I nod, clutching the phone like a lifeline. Its weight in my hand makes this all feel suddenly, terrifyingly real.
“Thank you, Aydin,” I say tightly. “For everything.”
She smiles tightly, watching me with an expression I can’t quite decipher.
I nod again, unable to find the words to respond. As I turn to leave the kitchen, to go pack for this impromptu trip, a wave of dizziness washes over me. I stumble, catching myself on the edge of the counter.
“Addy!” Aydin’s voice is sharp with concern.
“I’m fine,” I assure her, straightening up. “Just a bit lightheaded. Pregnancy stuff, you know?”
She doesn’t look entirely convinced, but she nods. “I’ll have some snacks prepared for your journey. It wouldn’t do to have you fainting on the way.”
