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You know what don’t call me. I think we need a break from each other.
My stomach churns and burns as I read through his hurtful messages. Maybe deep down, this is what I wanted. Him to make the choice that I was too chicken to.
“I should have told you about that. I run the site to earn money on the side for college.”
“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself. For playing into all the drama between Kyson and his friends,” I explain. The last thing I need is to have a tiff with the only friend I currently have. “Enough about my problems, though. Tell me about Ray.”
Lauren goes into a spiral about how Ray has been number four on her crush list since her freshman year. It doesn’t take a genius to know that the wolf pack takes up those other spots.
“He never paid attention to me before. I think he saw me hanging out with you and thought that made me cool.”
“No way. You’re awesome and anyone who doesn’t see that sucks.”
“Now I know you’re being nice.”
“I’m only hanging with you to help raise my rep,” I tease.
“Shut up.” She throws a teddy bear at me and the two of us erupt in a fit of giggles.
This is exactly what I needed.
“Sooo, you didn’t say after we dropped him off. Are you guys going out? Did you exchange numbers? Is he a good kisser?”
“He got my number and I’m hoping he’ll ask me. And yes. He’s a great kisser. I think.”
“You think?”
“Don’t laugh and pinky swear you won’t tell anyone.”
“Of course.” I hook my pinky with hers. “I swear.”
“Tonight was my first kiss.” Her cheeks redden and she glances away.
“Don’t be ashamed. I’ve only ever kissed Matt and one other guy.”
“I bet I can guess his name.”
“Let’s not and pretend that you did. Enough about boys. We need something scary to watch, but not too scary.”
“Scream?” she suggests, while chewing on her thumbnail.
“All right. I know it sounds crazy, but the killers in that one were hot.”
“When Billy licks the blood off his fingers. OMG.” She grins.
“Right. Like did they have to make him so attractive?”
“I’m going to make us some popcorn, if you want to get the movie started.” Lauren hands me the remote and goes to the kitchen. I find a streaming app and pull the movie up, waiting until she comes back to press play.
While I wait, I read through Matt’s messages again. Even though it hurts, I know he’s right. We shouldn’t be together right now. I’m only avoiding the inevitable by stringing him along. We should have ended things before I moved here like I tried to do in the beginning.
I type out the only word I can without getting choked up.
Ok.
I hit send and watch the message change from delivered to read. The chat bubbles start to move, then stop. I stare at the bubbles, wondering what he’s going to say, but they never move again. By the time Lauren returns, I give up on a response. It’s for the best, but after all we’ve been through, for it to end in a text message seems all wrong.
I hug my knees to my chest and try to focus on the movie and gush about how cute Billy Loomis is with Lauren, but my thoughts are the last place they should be.
