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I shake those bad thoughts away to focus on Kyson and calming the silent storm I’m certain is raging in his mind. “What was that about, anyway? Sounded intense,” I note, broaching the subject with caution, afraid to set him off.
He doesn’t respond right away. He walks to the end of the street, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and eyes watching the pavement as if it holds all the answers to his problems. “Doesn’t matter,” he finally murmurs, his voice low and graveled.
“It matters to me,” I insist, hoping he’ll trust me enough to confide this one thing. It’s like he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s so tense and angry all the time. It breaks my heart a little for him.
He lets out a rueful chuckle, finally meeting my gaze. The intensity in his eyes takes my breath away and for a moment, we’re just standing here, lost in each other’s gazes.
“Kyson,” I prompt him. “You can talk to me. I won’t break your trust,” I promise, knowing that if the situation were reversed, this boy would likely break mine. He’d find some way to use anything I say against me.
“He hates me,” he confesses abruptly, breaking our connection as quickly as it formed.
“Why though?” I ask, although I already have an idea what his answer will be. “There has to be more to it than that, surely. It was only a game.”
“Not to him.”
“Okay but still, there’s got to be another reason he’s riding you so hard.”
“Yeah,” he agrees with a sigh, running a hand through his unruly hair.
We cross the street to a small park that has a few swings and a couple slides. Kyson takes up the swing next to mine but neither of us push off. “Everyone has secrets and I happen to know one that would make my mom want to leave him if she were exposed to the truth.”
“What do you mean?” I grip the metal chains, twisting in place, rubbing the toes of my shoes in the dirt. “Why would she leave him…oh. Oh,” I say, again more pointedly, recalling her stop at the sexy underwear store. “He’s cheating on her.”
“Do you really think he’s bowling all the time?”
“And she doesn’t suspect it?” I push off, but don’t go very high.
He shrugs. “Doubtful. Mom loves him, but honestly, I think she doesn’t want to be alone. He has this hold on her. She has blinders on when it comes to him. Always believes him over me.”
He takes off on his swing, launching himself higher and higher as I chew on his words.
I’m not sure how to respond to this information. I try to choose my response carefully. I never know what will set him off. “That’s a heavy burden to carry, Kyson,” I start, my voice barely above a whisper. “But it’s not your responsibility to protect them. They’re the adults. Have you thought about telling her?”
He stops swinging and snorts, shaking his head. “And break her heart even more? No, I can’t do that. She’s already had enough heartbreak. Besides, she’d shoot the messenger, and he’d find a way to make me the bad guy. She already despises me enough.”
“But she deserves to know the truth,” I argue gently, placing my hand on his arm. “Trust me. I get it. I watched my dad go through it with my stepmother. It was awful, but he got over it.”
Kyson shrugs off my hand, stepping away from the swings, taking a few steps away from me. His expression is hard and unreadable as he looks back at me. “You don’t understand. This… this would destroy her. I can’t be the reason for another heartbreak in her life. The last time nearly killed her.”
“And carrying this secret isn’t destroying you?” I counter, my voice thick with emotions that I don’t even fully understand. Why do I want to wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck right now? Why does he think his mother hates him and blames him for something? Does he think what happened to his father is somehow his fault? Is that what he means?
“It’s not your problem,” he retorts harshly, causing me to flinch.
“But it is,” I insist, not ready to give up as I follow him.
He leaves the park, returning to the sidewalk. “It’s none of your business.”
“I worry about what this is doing to you?”
“Why?”
I swallow hard under his scrutiny as he searches my face for an answer.
“Kyson, you must realize that I care about you.” Perhaps more than I should. I keep that thought to myself. Is this why he lashes out?
Silence stretches between us, filled only by the faint sounds of distant traffic and the whispering wind rustling the leaves above us. Finally, he looks at me. “You shouldn’t.”
“Good thing that’s my choice to make.”
