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I have to dig into the cushions of the couch to retrieve it, but after I do, I drop onto the sofa and mull over the text situation again.
It’s a good thing he didn’t send it with the news he got today. I can only imagine that if we had slept together, it would have made today’s news hurt even more.
Numbly, I go into my bedroom and get ready. None of my pants fit me anymore, so I’m stuck wearing stretchy leggings and dresses. I settle for a long black-and-white dress that pairs well with black boots and a leather jacket.
When I walk out into the living room, Luke is standing there in dark, fitted jeans, a dark-red button-down shirt, and brown leather loafers. He’s so good-looking it literally hurts my eyes.
I just have to get through the night. Put on a happy face. And then ignore him as much as possible over the next few weeks as he prepares to leave. I can do that.
“I got us a table at that steak house,” he says, looking up from his phone.
“Perfect,” I say, avoiding eye contact.
We’re quiet on the way to the restaurant, and even when we sit down, the conversation feels stiff. He sips on a glass of whiskey while I run my finger along the rim of my water glass.
“You should come visit,” he says and I glance up at him without reacting.
“In England?” I ask.
“Yeah, of course.”
“With a baby?”
“They have babies in England.” He forces a smirk on his face. “The program is only a year long.”
I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean so I don’t reply. Is he implying that I should wait for him for a whole year and maybe we can try to be an actual couple when he gets back? He must know how ridiculous he sounds.
“Listen, Luke. I really am happy for you. This is what you’ve always wanted and the literary world is going to be better off with you in that project.”
He scoffs. “Don’t be so dramatic.”
“Well, I don’t know.” I laugh. “What you’re doing is important.”
“Is it?” he mutters, staring down at his glass.
“To you it is,” I reply.
Then his gaze drifts upward to meet my eyes. “Sadie,” he starts. His tone is soft and sweet, and it almost sounds like he’s going to say something I want to hear.
But then, movement catches my eye across the restaurant, and I glance up to see a very tall, familiar man walking in with a small party of well-dressed people.
“Oh my god,” I mumble, quickly averting my eyes. But I know it’s too late. For a brief moment, our eyes met.
“What?” Luke asks as he turns around to see Jax staring at us. “Who is that?”
“That’s the?—”
My words are cut off as Jax comes toward us. “Is that sexy Sadie?” he asks too loudly.
Luke’s mouth sets in a thin, straight line.
“Jax,” I say with a smile as I stand up to greet him. Luke immediately stands up too.
Jax’s eyes bolt down to my belly, hovering there the same way a deer stares into oncoming traffic.
I pull him into a hug to distract him from the sight of my swollen, fetus-filled belly.
“You look great,” he says in a mindless sort of hypnotic way as his eyes bore into mine.
