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My skin breaks out in painful goose bumps that prick the surface, tingling up my legs and arms and down my spine. My chest starts to heave and struggle to breathe like there’s a weight on it. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to imagine I’m somewhere else.
I just need to get out of here. But I can’t move.
I just need?—
“Miss Green.” That deep, calm voice tears my attention away from my frantic thoughts. My head snaps up as I stare at Lucas Goode standing over me with flaring nostrils and a clenched jaw.
The panic starts to dissipate immediately.
“What are you doing here? How did you find me?” I ask with a gasp.
He holds up his phone, a picture of Jax’s Instagram on the screen. “I know how to stalk a local celebrity on social media.”
I stand up and stare into his eyes, and something is so irritatingly comforting about it. Whatever I was just thinking about all just drifts away. Instead, I lunge, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face in his neck.
He winds his arms around my waist and squeezes me against him.
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” he asks.
“I’m sorry,” I sob into his neck.
“What are you sorry for?”
“I should have just come home. I thought he would want me, but he doesn’t.” My chest aches with those words, but Lucas only squeezes tighter.
“Come on,” he mumbles against my head. “Let’s go home.”
And I know it’s not the same. I know that Lucas doesn’t like me the way I want Jax to like me, but he’s here, and he cares. It may not be the hookup I wanted, but right now, it means so much more.
Eighteen
Lucas
Sadie drives herself back home, but I follow her in my car. Tonight was a wake-up call for me. I worried about where she was, who she was with, why she hadn’t told me. It was exhausting and I hated every second of it.
We’ve grown far too close and I think it’s time to put an end to this little arrangement of ours. It was going to end eventually anyway, so tonight feels like the right time to do it. If only I could utter those words.
If she leaves, my house will be quiet again. I’ll be alone again. No one to look after. No one to care about. No one to wait for. I should be happy about that. I’m one foot out the door anyway.
When we walk inside the house, Sadie seems despondent. She slips off her shoes like she always does, kicking them in the corner. I expect her to go into her room, but she lingers in the living room as if she’s waiting for something.
Awkwardly, she stares at the floor as I approach.
I know what she’s waiting for, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
“Go to bed, Miss Green,” I say coldly.
“Please,” she whispers. “I need this.”
Her plea wrenches my heart. Touching her arm, I draw her attention up to my face. Her expression is desperate and pitiful. The tracks of her tears cut through the makeup, revealing the soft spatter of freckles underneath.
“We can’t keep doing this,” I say weakly.
“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with what we do. We both like it, and it’s the only thing that makes me feel better.” Her tone is earnest and needy, and it breaks me to deny her.
I want to bend her over this couch and give her exactly what she wants. But where does this end?
“That’s the problem, Miss Green. You can’t rely on me to make you feel better.”
