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Lucas
“We should get lunch,” I say, as we head back out to the car from Sadie’s doctor’s appointment.
“Be careful, Dr. Goode,” she says with a laugh. “You keep trying to feed me like this and I’m going to fall in love with you.”
I let out a disgruntled sound as I open her car door.
Even joking about that shouldn’t make me tense up as much as it does. I don’t want to give Sadie the wrong idea. Because that is never happening.
Not with her. Not with anyone.
Sadie is a beautiful woman, and regardless of how infuriating she can be at times, I do like her. And the signals between us might get a little mixed at times.
But if she’s holding on to any hope that this thing might turn romantic, she’s going to be sorely disappointed.
It’s nothing personal, of course. It’s not just Sadie. I don’t plan on being in a relationship with anyone. Even when it comes to casual sex, I like to keep it noncommittal. Not that that’s what’s happening between Sadie and me.
Climbing into the driver’s seat, I start the car and glance over at her.
“What are you craving?” I ask.
She hums in contemplation. “I don’t know. I don’t really have any cravings yet, I guess. I mean, I’d love some sushi, but apparently, that’s on the list of things I can no longer enjoy.”
“No sushi,” I reply flatly.
We settle on a taco joint. And after ordering, we have a seat at one of the small linoleum tables. Leaning back in my chair, I watch Sadie, replaying that moment in the doctor’s office when the baby’s heartbeat echoed through the room. Even for someone like me, who has no inkling of a desire to be a father, that moment felt significant.
I can’t help but wonder how she’s feeling about it now. Is this baby still what she wants? Parenthood seems incredibly daunting and exhausting and overwhelming and to think that she is embarking on this alone—it’s both admirable and worrisome. I hope she knows what she’s doing.
“Don’t mind me asking…” I say after our tacos are delivered to the table and we start eating. “But what is the deal with the baby’s father?”
The only thing she’s really mentioned up until now is that it was a one-night stand. But I can’t help but wonder about this man who got her pregnant while I was the one standing next to her during the doctor’s visit.
Sadie shrugs casually as she wipes her mouth with a napkin. “It was just one night,” she says.
“It generally doesn’t require more than that,” I reply mockingly.
She rolls her eyes at me, making me smirk before she continues. “He’s a porn star of sorts who came into the club. And typical me, I basically threw myself at him, while also throwing caution to the wind. Like I said, I was stupid.”
It irks me when she speaks so deprecatingly about herself. Especially since I can’t help but feel as if she’s doing this on purpose because she thinks that’s what I want to hear.
“You are not stupid,” I reply flatly.
“Well, you know what I mean,” she says before taking another bite.
“Does he know about the baby?”
“Yes,” she replies. “I told him.”
“So why wasn’t he the one with you today?” I ask.
She hesitates, not meeting my gaze, as she picks up her drink and takes a sip. The look on her face is something like shame or regret. And it’s not what I intended by asking that question.
“I didn’t tell him about my appointment today,” she says softly.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “I like Jax. I like him a lot, actually,” she adds. “And I kinda hope there’s still a chance for us. But to be honest, I don’t know if I want him to be involved in all of this.”
