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“About what?” he asks solemnly.
“Well…” I wring my hands as I avert my gaze. “The last time you were here…we didn’t use protection.”
“Yeah.”
I glance up at him to find his expression still guarded and confused.
“And unfortunately, I wasn’t on the pill.”
“Okay.”
He’s really going to make me spell this out for him, isn’t he?
“So…I took a test last week, and I’m pregnant.”
Every time I say those words out loud, they feel heavy on my tongue. They’re awkward and hard to utter, and it doesn’t get any easier once they’re out.
To my surprise, Jax’s expression doesn’t change. He’s still just staring at me as if he’s waiting for me to get to the point of all this.
And here I thought I just did.
“It’s yours.”
“And?”
My jaw drops.
“And…I thought you’d want to know,” I reply. My skin is unbearably hot under his scrutinizing gaze, and it’s not that he’s trying to be a dick right now, but he just is.
Finally, finally, he starts to show some sort of reaction. He takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his hair. After doing a little panicked spin in a small circle, he turns toward me and paints a sympathetic expression on his face.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I just…don’t know what to say in these situations.”
“It’s okay,” I reply with a tight smile. It’s really not okay, but I’ll cut him some slack.
“I hate that you’re having to deal with this because of me. Just let me know how much it’s gonna cost to take care of it, and I’ll send it over.”
Something sickening travels down my spine. I wish I could express how the words take care of it feel so wrong, but I can’t. Nothing makes sense.
“I don’t really know what I’m going to do,” I reply, twisting my hands so tightly they ache.
He takes a step toward me and places his hands on my arms. “Hey, hey, hey,” he says comfortingly. “Don’t you worry about it. We’ll fix this, and I’ll pay for everything. It’ll be okay.”
He presses his lips to my forehead, and I find myself nodding.
“Yeah, okay,” I reply.
Maybe he’s right. We can just take care of it, and then everything will be back to normal.
Why, at this moment, with Jax’s muscular arms wrapped around me, do I suddenly think about Lucas? The way he smelled and the sound of his voice. The safe and comforting way I felt with his nearness. He’s never been half as nice to me as Jax, but in some very weird way…I crave him.
“Actually,” I say, tearing myself away. “I don’t know what I want to do yet. I might…keep it.”
Wow. I’ve never said that out loud before. Those words don’t feel nearly as awkward and heavy.
I glance up at Jax to find him gazing down at me with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I just…haven’t decided.”
