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I’m doing this for me, and for her, and for us.
Getting to feel things from her perspective gives me so much more respect for her. Feeling submissive takes more trust than I had realized, which is why I want her to see just how devoted I am. She can have all of me. Nothing comes before her. Not to me. Not ever.
“Ten, Miss Green,” I mutter with a groan.
Her hand strokes my ass, and I wince from how tender it is already. “How are you feeling?” she asks. “Do we need to pause?”
“No,” I grunt. “More, please.”
She squeezes my ass, and the mixture of pleasure and pain makes my dick jump. It’s hanging stiffly between my legs, and that’s unexpected. I’m almost ashamed of how turned on I am from this. This is supposed to be punishment. I’m not supposed to be enjoying it, but my dick has other plans.
Another smack from the paddle makes me groan from the pain. “Eleven, Miss Green.”
The sting reverberates through my body, never fully dulling before the next hit, so it’s like I’m consumed by the pain. It’s a part of me now.
“Twelve, Miss Green,” I say loudly after the hardest hit of all.
I want to look back at her. I’m desperate to see the look on her face. Is she enjoying this? Is she happy with me? Am I doing enough?
The paddle lands on the bed, and I feel her standing flush behind me. Her hands slide up my thighs and then across my abdomen. She gently nudges me to a standing position, and I feel her protruding stomach against my back, putting space between us.
When her hand finds my cock, I let out a groan.
“You did enjoy that,” she purrs against my back.
“My cock did. Is that bad?” I ask.
“Not at all,” she replies. “What about you? Did you enjoy that?”
“No,” I mumble quietly, hoping it doesn’t disappoint her.
“Good,” she breathes against my back. “And how are you feeling now? Would you like to stop?”
“No,” I say again. “I can take more.”
She squeezes my cock in her hand, and I let out another groan. It’s a tease of pleasure, which just feels like more punishment.
“Good,” she repeats. “I’d like to show you more.”
I want to ask if I take more, will that be enough for her? Will she forgive me and take me back?
The idea of getting my hopes up practically guts me.
Sliding her hands away from my cock, she presses them under my arms and guides them up over my head. The bed has a four-poster canopy, and the bars across the top seem sturdy, which makes sense for the activities that take place here.
“Hold on to the bar,” she commands, and I do. Suddenly, I feel exposed all over again. My back is stretched out, and I know she’s about to hurt me again.
Her body disappears from behind me, and I hear her open the cabinet again. A moment later, I hear a thwack as she slaps the flogger against her hand.
“We’ll do less of these, but if it’s too much, just say stop, and I will. Understand?”
I hesitate. Part of me is excited to feel the pain from this toy. I’m eager to show her how much I can take. For her, she can have it all.
“I understand,” I say on an exhale.
“Good. Are you ready?”
“Yes, Miss Green.”
