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Look at me…such an adult now.
Turns out being an adult fucking sucks.
The office door opens and I peel open my eyes to see Dean standing in the doorway. “Feeling okay?” he asks.
“Just peachy,” I reply.
“Right…”
“How are things on the floor? Need me?” I ask, desperately wanting something to distract me until closing time.
“Umm…” he says, and I bolt upright, staring at him expectantly.
“What is it?”
“Someone is here, and I would be very comfortable telling him to fuck off if that’s what you want,” he says with an astute tone.
My shoulders drop in disappointment. “Is it Jax?” I really don’t have the energy to deal with him right now.
“Actually, no,” Dean replies, scratching the back of his head.
“Then who is it?”
“Luke.”
A sound escapes my lips that sounds too aggressive to be a laugh. “Very funny.”
“I’m serious,” Dean replies with a wince.
My face drops. “What? Luke? As in Lucas Goode…is here. In this sex club. Right now?”
“Yes, but?—”
I burst out of my chair and look toward the security cameras to verify what Dean is saying right now. And there on the screen is a familiar body, sitting at the bar with what I assume is an expensive glass of whiskey in front of him.
“I can tell him to leave, Sadie. I’m serious.”
“Did he…ask for me?” It feels like wishful thinking, and I’m terrified that maybe Luke came here for someone else, which would be so wild and out of character, but crazier things have happened.
“Yeah, he did,” Dean replies.
“What did he say?”
“He asked to see you. When I pressed him for more information, he seemed pretty desperate and slightly embarrassed. But he wouldn’t tell me why.”
It’s sweet that Dean is so protective of me when it’s his own brother-in-law who broke my heart. It’s touching, really.
I stare at Luke on the screen for a while, trying to decide what I want to do. Would it be reckless to see him? What if he’s just here for sex, and nothing has really changed? Will I be able to turn him down if that’s the case? Crawling back into bed with Lucas would only set me back, and I can’t bear to feel that pain again. Losing him gutted me, and I can’t relive those days.
But do I really have the heart to turn him away without a word? It feels impossible.
I run a hand over my stomach when I feel the baby kick. He or she is my first priority now. I have to protect them, and I have to protect myself. If I let them grow attached to Lucas only for him to leave or brush them aside, I would never forgive myself.
“Tell him to meet me in the Ethereal Room, please.” My voice is flat, and Dean agrees softly. When the door closes behind him, and I’m left alone to stare at Lucas on the screen, I decide that I will hear what he has to say, but I’ve come too far to let him pull me back into a relationship where I don’t feel valued.
I can do this because I’m not just doing it for me anymore.
On the screen, I watch Dean guide Luke toward the room where it all started. I make him wait for a few more minutes. Then I slip out of the office and make my way toward the room where he’s waiting for me.
