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“Well, sort of. I added English as a minor. Apparently, it was enough for me to apply for that grant. Not sure it makes up for how many more classes I have to pay for,” I add with a laugh. “But I like my literature classes. And my new professor thinks I’m pretty good too.”
I notice the way his jaw clenches, and I smile to myself.
Making him jealous was always my favorite.
“I’m proud of you,” he says, looking at the ground and scratching the back of his neck.
“Thanks,” I reply softly.
“And you and Jax…you’ve worked things out?”
I let out a scoff. “God, no. He’s ghosting me again, so I think he might have changed his mind about wanting to be a dad.”
Lucas does his best to tone down his reaction, but I can see the way his eyes roll. He shoves his hands in his pockets to hide the way they’re clenched.
“You’re better off without him,” he says.
“Yeah, I know.”
We stare at each other for a moment, and I can’t help but feel like he wants to say something else, but he hesitates.
“Sadie…” he starts.
“Sadie, honey!” my mom calls from the door, and I turn to find her waving at me. “People are leaving. You should come say goodbye.”
“I’ll be right there,” I reply. Turning back to Luke, I force myself to back away when what I really want is to run into his arms. “I should go.”
He clears his throat. “Yeah.” Then, with a quick shake of his head, he adds, “Wait. I brought you something.” He holds up the package in his hand. It’s shaped like a book, no surprise.
“Thanks.”
After another moment of hesitation, he takes a step back.
So I do, too.
It feels like a mile.
Then he steps closer to me again, and my heart picks up speed. “Can I call you later?”
I open my mouth to reply. Yes. Please. But then I remember why I left in the first place.
“You’re still leaving, though…” I reply sadly.
“It’s complicated,” he replies, and I just nod in understanding.
“I’m sure it is.” Nodding, I take a step back. “It was good to see you.”
He surrenders, letting his hands fall to his sides. “You too, Miss Green.”
A buzz of warmth shoots down to my stomach at the sound of him calling me that. No matter how much I want to stay here with him, I pull myself away.
It feels like the hardest step I’ve ever taken, but at the end of the day, I’m proud of myself. I’m finally advocating for the love I think I deserve. He should be proud of me, too.
Even if it costs us everything.
Thirty-Eight
Lucas
