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A tear slips from the corner of Rain’s glassy eye and rolls down the edge of my index finger to her parted lips. Reaching out, she places one tiny hand over my heart, over the place where thirteen jagged tally marks tell the world how many foster homes I was kicked out of, how many times I wasn’t good enough, how many times I fought to stay and was left behind anyway.
Then, she says the words that make me want to put my fist through the glass shop window beside her head, “You’ll never have to.”
I tilt her face up and kiss her salty, wet mouth until her breath becomes ragged and her hands begin to claw at my belt buckle. Carter can’t see us—I made sure of that when I pulled her over here—so I know this isn’t just for show. Rain actually believes the four little words she just whispered.
If only they were true.
Rain
“Pleeeeease!” I cry, tugging on Mama’s hand and leaning with my whole body toward the Hello Kitty store. “I promise I won’t beg for nuthin’! I just wanna look. Real quick! Pleeeeease?”
“Rainbow, stop it,” Mama snaps, looking around at all the other shoppers. “You’re making a scene.”
“But Tammy-Lynn got a Hello Kitty binder for her birthday!”
Mama’s eyes get softer, and I know I got her. She never lets me get nuthin’ at the mall unless it’s my birthday, and it just so happens that I’m gonna be eight in exactly three days.
“One thing, okay? And you can’t have it until your birthday.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
This time, when I yank Mama’s hand, she lets me pull her into the store, and it’s like a Hello Kitty wonderland in there. Purses and T-shirts and lamps and stuffed animals and bath mats and bedsheets and, “Oh my God, slap bracelets! Look, Mama! Look!”
“One thing, Rainbow. And hurry up. We still have to get you some new shoes for school.”
Shoes!
I run to the shoe wall and drool as rows and rows of Sanrio characters stare back at me from the sides of sneakers and sandals and even fuzzy little bedroom slippers. But one pair calls out to me. I grab the black low-top Converse with Badtz-Maru’s cute little face right on top.
“I want these, Mama! Please?”
My mother scrunches her face up as she takes the shoebox out of my hands. “The grumpy penguin? Out of everything in this store, you want the black grumpy-penguin shoes?”
I bite my lip and nod all my nods.
Mama turns the box sideways in her hands and reads the description of my favorite Hello Kitty character out loud. “Bad Badtz-Maru is a mischievous little penguin who has dreams of becoming the king of everything one day. Although he’s bossy and he has a bit of an attitude problem, Badtz is a loyal friend to Pandaba and Hana-Maru. When he’s not getting into trouble, Badtz-Maru can be found collecting pictures of movie stars who play his favorite bad guys?” Mama’s voice goes up at the end like she’s asking a question. “Rainbow!”
“What, Mama? He’s my favorite! Look how cute he is!”
“Cute? He’s scowling.”
I stick my finger out and stroke his frowny little canvas beak. “He just needs somebody to love him. That’s all.”
Mama sighs and slaps the lid on the box. “Fine, but only because it’s your birthday.”
We check out, and I don’t even let the cash register lady put my shoes in a bag. I just hug the whole box to my chest and wait for the receipt to print. It prints and prints and gets longer and longer until it touches the floor.
I look up at the lady, but she’s gone. Everybody’s gone. The store is empty, and it smells bad, like the attic. Everywhere I look, the lights are off, and the shelves are empty. Even the shoe rack. The counter that was just shiny and white a second ago is now covered in dust so thick that I could write my name in it with my finger.
The receipt is still printing, so I follow it out the door and into the hallway. The benches are rusty now. The floor tiles are all cracked, and some even have grass growing in between them. And the sale banners that used to hang from the ceiling don’t say Sale no more. They’re all red with demon people riding black, smoke-breathing horses on them.
I don’t like it here. I wanna go home.
I turn in circles, trying to find Mama, but she’s gone too.
It’s just me and Bad Badtz-Maru. Even though he’s just on a pair of shoes, I know he’ll protect me. He’s going to be the king of everything one day.
I follow the receipt out the door and into the parking lot. It’s empty now. More scary banners hang from the light posts, but I ain’t afraid of them. I’m mad at them. They made everything go away. They made Mama go away. So I stomp over to a junky old car and climb up on top of it, all the way to the roof. Then, I reach up and pull one of those banners right down.
