Page 37 of Wanting


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I sipped my coke and chased ice with my straw, happy to be ignored after the initial pleasantries from the other women. Oh, YOU’RE Rose’s niece…we’ve heard about you…we can see the family resemblance, while their eyes took in my black knit dress and scuffed ballet flats. The shoes were my favorite. I’d wear them until the soles fell off.

Was there a family resemblance? I’d never looked past Rose’s perfect makeup, shaped and highlighted hair, and smoothed-out skin. But I saw it now, as the sunlight hit her face in the elegant restaurant. The little nose, the petite frame, the faint smattering of freckles under her powder. The large, teardrop-shaped eyes.

Will’s eyes were the same shape.

A hard curl of uncomfortable excitement wound through my body. I’d seen one picture of my mother and Rose together when they were young, in their late teens or early twenties, and Rose’s long, wavy hair had the same burnished glow as mine.

“Will is just having one success after another,” my aunt gushed. “All we can do is sit back and watch. It gives us so much pride.”

“We should see about him getting together with my Maddie,” another woman cooed, stroking the handle of her coffee cup. Mrs. Platt, who’d commented on the family resemblance. “They’d make a very attractive couple. They were talking for quite a while at the garden party you gave a couple of weeks ago.”

I stiffened. Will had been talking to a girl? I hadn’t seen him hold a long conversation with anyone that night. Unless you counted forcing his kisses on me as a conversation. It must have happened after I slipped away and retreated to my room.

“Oh, yes,” the woman sitting across from my aunt piped up. “Maddie certainly goes after what she wants. I’d call her unstoppable.”

Mrs. Platt raised her eyebrows, and I wondered if it was a barb.

“Well, he has his choice of girls.” Aunt Rose smiled. “Andrea can attest to that.”

My fingers tightened around my coke glass, and I crossed my legs, managing a polite smile. My crotch was throbbing. Juices trickled into my underwear. Since the night of that garden party, when my cousin had first put his hands on me, I’d been wet. All the time.

“But I think he and Madeleine would enjoy each other,” my aunt continued. “They’d go far together. They certainly both know what they want. They’re cut from the same cloth.”

Manipulative, entitled, creepy cloth. Gorgeous, angry cloth. Selfish cloth. Heartless cloth, incapable of love. I’d hated this Maddie as soon as she was mentioned, but suddenly I felt a flash of pity. And I’d never met the girl.

“What do you think, Andrea?”

“As long as they make each other happy.” Excusing myself, I pushed back my chair to visit the opulent bathroom. As I leaned my forehead against the cool stall wall, breathing the softly perfumed air, I slipped a hand in my sopping underwear. I stroked my clit, feeling Will’s sure fingers inside me and his dirty whispers in my ears, until I convulsed in pleasure.

* * *

Aunt Rose insisted on taking me shopping after lunch. I let her. At the boutique, she informed me that my colors were blue, green, and white, and I should avoid everything else at all costs.

Back at the house, I changed into one of the dresses she bought me, a pale blue sheath, to appease her, and kept my face fixed in an expression of polite gratitude when she told me over dinner that I finally looked presentable.

The meal over, I slipped out to the empty back patio and curled up in the glider. Lanterns dangled, unlit. Fireflies zipped through the humid air. My hair, thick and heavy, clung to my neck and shoulders. The sky darkened until I squinted at the words in my book. The leaves and grasses, rustling, got louder.

I looked up. A tall, lean figure stood a distance away in the trees. The house was a large faint outline in the background, against the velvet dusk.

Green eyes met mine. Will began to walk toward me.

I knew what would happen.

I ran.

Footsteps pounded after me. Gravel crunched underfoot. I darted into the trees, away from the house and its posted security, taking advantage of the shadows. My breath came in shallow bursts. I heard low pants behind me.

I was desperate to evade him.

I was desperate for him to catch me.

I wanted to show him he meant nothing to me.

For him to prove I meant something to him.

The woods held secrets, and I didn’t know who we’d be in there.

Will was fast, but I was quick-footed, leaping over logs that rolled under his feet. The polished cotton of my new dress bunched around my legs. I pulled up the snug skirt. I didn’t care what Will saw. At some point I lost my shoes. My bare feet gripped the ground, moss and leaves underfoot. Cracking branches followed me.

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