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I should tell her that I have a wife and it’s not Briar because it’s probably disrespectful to Cami if I don’t. But for once in a long damn time, I don’t feel the need to do that. Somehow, I know that Cami knows I will always love her, and moving on doesn’t mean I’m letting her go. I will never let her or our daughter go. I’ll carry them with me for the rest of my life. But Briar is here, and as much as I tried to fight it, I’ve fallen in love with that woman.
“Yeah, now that you took care of that … issue, I’d love to see them,” I answer, resting my head back on the pillow. And trying not to think about the thing the nurse just pulled from my dick.
I got to visit my mom for a total of about five minutes before I could no longer stand the thought of having that … thing … in my pecker. I rang the bell for help, and within minutes, someone was ready to help me out.
Thank fuck.
The bullet I can take. A catheter? No.
My mom comes in by herself, tucking her phone into her pocket. “I called your sister and your aunt Mara. Between the two of them, they are going to let the rest of the family know you’re awake.”
Walking to my side, she plops herself down on the edge of the bed and puts her hand on my forehead. “I’m so glad you’re okay. When Agent Rossi called me—” She stops, looking down. “I was so scared I wouldn’t see you again.” Her expression grows pissed, and she widens her eyes in warning. “But guess what. The second you’re healed, I’m going to kick your ass for putting yourself in such a dangerous position.” She cups my cheek, her voice turning to a whisper. “Sometimes, I feel like you don’t care if you live or die, baby. It seems like you gave up six years ago.”
I study my mom’s face. For so many years, I’ve avoided her. And aside from sometimes helping my sister at Peaches, I’ve avoided my family. I’ve avoided everyone I love. Because I couldn’t fucking bear to be around them. I didn’t want to feel anything. I just wanted to run. And all that running took me into so many dangerous situations that I went into without flinching. So many people have died fighting to make this world a better place. And yet I’m still here. Even though for a long time, I didn’t want to be.
“I didn’t care,” I whisper, and I watch her fall apart. “Because I was so tired of the pain.” I point to my chest. “The pain in here.” I feel the pain from my wound, and I need to take a second to breathe, but I push on. “I care now though, Ma.” I nod my head. “Someone came along and reminded me that just because a big part of my life was over, and for that, I’ll never be the same, I’m still here. As long as my heart beats, I want to love her the way she deserves to be loved.”
Happy tears roll down her cheeks, and she smiles as her eyebrows pull together. “Briar?” She says her name softly, and I nod once.
“Yeah,” I exhale. “I love her, Mom. And that’s something I never thought I’d say again for the rest of my life. For so long, I just thought that I had the love of my life and that since she was gone, I’d spend the rest of my time alone. I was fine with it too.”
“And then she crashed into your life,” she says with a smile.
“She did. She was forced into the most terrifying situation, and she stood there, so strong. And I just … I couldn’t look away from her.” The picture of her face the first time I saw her flashes through my mind. “And even in the worst circumstances, with the wickedest human beings, she never changed.”
“Maybe it’s okay for us to get a second chance at a happily ever after?” My mom’s voice is small but sad. “And maybe that doesn’t take away the love we had for your dad and for Cami.” Grabbing a tissue from the tray next to the bed, she blots her cheeks. “Because, baby, all Cami ever wanted was for you to be happy. That was the most important thing to her.”
My throat burns with raw emotion. For so long, I pushed down everything inside because I was afraid that I wasn’t strong enough to let myself feel it. Like, if I let it out, I’d never recover. But right now, I’m not pushing it down. Cami and our daughter don’t deserve to be pushed down. They are too special to me for that.
“We’re going to be okay, kid.” She hugs me gently, murmuring into my shoulder, “Promise.”
For the first time in six years … I think she might be right.
Rossi walks into the room. I know he’s been at the hospital since I woke up over an hour ago, but I think he was being respectful and giving me some time with my mom and Briar.
“You look like shit,” he says, the corner of his lip turning up before he glances at Briar, who sits at my bedside. “You sure you still want this guy now that he looks so damn ugly?”
She raises her eyebrows and pulls her lips to the side. “I guess he’ll do.” Standing up, she leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll give y’all some time to talk.”
My mom stands and takes a few steps to where Rossi is at the end of my bed. Tapping him on the back, she pats his cheek. “I’m glad you boys are safe now. But if you pull anything like this again, I’ll kick your asses clear to next week.”
“Yes, ma’am. Understood.” Rossi grins, and she releases him.
Once Briar and my mom leave the room, he walks over to the window and looks outside. “Fuck, man. I know this is what we’re trained for, but you scared the shit out of me.” He looks at me, dragging a hand down his face. “I mean, I thought you were a fucking goner. I thought we all were.”
I haven’t talked to Briar about how I got out of there yet. I know she had to leave a bit ago to get a smoke inhalation treatment, but with doctors and nurses coming and going to check on me, I didn’t get a chance to ask her.
“How did I get out of there?” I reach for the cup of water Briar brought me and take a sip. “What really happened?”
Leaning against the windowsill, he hangs his head. Lifting it slightly, he swallows. “How much do you remember?”
When I close my eyes, my mind goes back to a lot of places. One being pure darkness with Briar screaming for me to stay with her. The other is a place filled with lightness, where I got to see my wife and daughter.
“I remember watching you shoot Enzo. You pumped his chest full of lead, and blood soaked his shirt, and his eyes grew lifeless as he sank to the floor.” I take a breath, and it sends pain shooting through my entire chest from my bullet wound. “The adrenaline was rushing through my body so much; I guess I didn’t realize I got shot until my chest felt warm, and then I could feel the blood rushing out of me.” I look down. “Then, it all goes black. But her cries …” I pause. “I could hear her crying. And screaming. I thought for sure I was a dead man.”
“So did I.” He nods. “But I didn’t shoot Enzo, Hale.”
My eyes move to his, and I frown. “What?”
