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A sacrifice.
A brunette girl—that girl!
Amara ripped her hands away from me, and we both doubled over as though we’d been struck. I stumbled away from her on shaky legs, desperately trying to catch my breath.
“What did you do to me?” I managed to get out.
“Me? You are not at all what you seem. You may not be the one I’ve been waiting for, but the Divine surely has a plan for you.”
“Who is she? I’ve seen that girl before. Who is she?” I demanded, desperate for more answers.
“She is a chosen, just like you. We all have our path. Now listen carefully, we don’t have much time. The Divine has made it all so clear.” She turned to the shelves and busied herself, looking through the books, a sense of urgency filling the small room.
“I’ve had a vision of James with that girl. But that cannot be his future. I am his future, not her. That’s why I came to you. I need answers.”
“Not all of us were fated for such a beautiful life. Some of us have a higher purpose.”
“No, it can’t be. For all the things that have happened to me, he is what made it all worth it. James is my gift.” My voice cracked as the emotions welled up inside me.
“I’m sorry, my child, but this was not meant to last forever. You’ve surely witnessed the signs? The very universe is conspiring to end one path and start you down the next. Be honest with yourself. You may love him, but you’ve already begun to see the fatal flaws in that love, haven’t you?”
The tears were flowing freely now as the truth became too clear to deny any longer. I sunk to my knees as the sobs turned into wails. The only protest I had was against an ending that I could not change. My heart was breaking, and there was nothing to do but allow the darkness to consume me.
“Katherine!” Amara said, wrapping her firm hands around my arms and pulling me to my feet. I heard the crack before I felt the sting of her hand against my cheek. The slap cut through the anguish that was drowning me. “Pull yourself together. You have a purpose. It may not be the way you envisioned it, but your life has meaning.”
“I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t think I can go on without him.” My chin trembled with the agony of it all and the fear of this unknown future I’d have to face alone.
“The female line is ever enduring. Even in our darkest hour, we find a way to go on, to do what we must. To persevere. Find solace in your resilience.” I couldn’t speak. I could only nod, even though I wasn’t sure I’d survive this. “Now listen to me carefully. I cannot stop Éadbard from releasing the power of the ruby from its bonds. The Divine meticulously shaped the gemstone, embedding it with their power. Crafting it for the specific purpose of governing the magic within. These sacred rules are what maintain the delicate balance. If he should control such raw power with no constraints, it would spell out the demise of all the realms.” She stared at me intently, giving me a moment to let her words sink in. “I cannot stop him from siphoning off the power, but he needs me to perform the ritual. I can alter it to bind the power to someone else. I can tie the magic to a mortal soul. One that will keep it safe.”
“What? I don’t understand what you’re asking.”
“I’m telling you that you’ve been chosen to be the bearer of this power. To keep it safe from those who would abuse it.”
“But that’s not possible. It’s in the rules. The Heart of the Divine cannot be bound to any one person,” I countered, desperate for any way out of this.
“When the power contained in the ruby is released, the rules binding it will be broken. That is why it is so dangerous. It will have the ability to upend destinies. It must be protected. Do you understand?”
“Why can’t I be this guardian you need and still be with James? With that power, I could take away all the pain from this vendetta with Pan. We could live a happy life away from all of this.”
“It is not so. James and Peter are tightly woven into the fabric of fate. Their story must play out. Our very existence depends on it. It is no simple task the Divine has given you. You will be hunted for the power you possess. You must take it and go into hiding.”
“James will never let me leave. He loves me just as much as I love him. If our roles were reversed, I would never accept it,” I said defiantly, reaching for any way to unravel these chains that were constricting around me.
“You must make it happen. James has a role to play here in Neverland. His heartbreak is part of the story, a piece of the puzzle. You have seen what will happen to him if you choose the wrong path.”
I’d never felt so completely out of control in my entire life. A life that wasn’t even mine anymore. I could feel my love, my humanity, drain out of me, leaving nothing but an empty husk behind. Once, I’d thought that the worst thing that could happen to me was to be Edward’s property, but now I was a pawn in a much bigger game. My only salvation was to allow my heart to shrivel and die. It was devastatingly poetic. I would hold the power of the universe at my fingertips, yet I’d be completely powerless.
Irubbed at my dry, gritty eyes, squinting to block out the day’s light shining into my cabin like a torturous beam of agony. The blasted sun had shown its face yet again. Pain throbbed in my head like a hammer, pounding at my brow. What time was it? Fuck, what day was it? I’d consumed enough rum to kill a small horse, and yet here I was. Alive and paying the price for my overindulgence.
Images of Pan’s sinister smile as he dropped my hand to the crocodile hissing below flashed in my mind. I looked down at my right arm, still wrapped in blood-stained bandages. Blood that was no longer crimson but a strange, aubergine color. The memories weren’t simply a nightmare. It had happened, and it was time to face my truth. Hesitating, I fingered the edges of the fabric. I would never again be the man I once was. I had changed both physically and mentally.
Peter himself had sealed my fate, tossing my severed hand into the jaws of the crocodile. How was it that he, a mere boy, was the single cause of all my pain and suffering? It was as though he was put here to punish me for all my previous lives’ sins. All I ever did was grow up. I had no choice in the matter. And look at me now. Pathetic. I wiped away the traitorous tear sliding down my cheek and decided, then and there, I was done feeling sorry for myself. I was Captain James of the Jolly Roger. I was going to offer refuge to the innocent Lost Boys Peter cast out. I was going to make a difference. It was my destiny to end Peter fucking Pan at any cost. Taking a deep breath, I pulled off the bandages, forcing myself to look at what was left of my arm.
It was gruesome. My already sour stomach turned, causing me to retch at the mere sight of it. It was still quite tender to the touch, although considerably better than yesterday. The bleeding had more or less stopped. Nothing but a few oozing spots and some black-crusted scabs forming over a mottled stump. New skin had just started to form over the raw tissue. Still semi-translucent in its infancy. I could see the bone and arteries mending just under the surface. Magic was definitely at play here. Without the interference of Katherine and her pixie, I’d surely be dead. And though they had tried, there was no hope of my hand growing back. A detail I struggled to accept. I was permanently disfigured.
Learning to use my left hand was going to prove challenging. I did everything with my right, eating, writing, fighting, taking a piss, pleasuring Katherine. Speaking of Kat, I wondered where she was? She hadn’t been in to see me yet today. At least not since I had woken. I’d been cruel to her in my drunken delirium. My enchanted tattoo assured that I remembered every single regrettable word. I needed to find her and make amends.
“Starkey!” I’d made my way to the quarterdeck, holding up my breeches with my one hand. I couldn’t even dress myself without help. Where was everyone? “Starkey!”
