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But I have a mate and I’m assuming at some point that mate is going to manage to slip under my skin and wriggle her way even more into my soul until I can’t see a day without her, without knowing that she’s my one, my reason for living, for breathing. Just for being.
But for right now? I don’t want it. I want to live my life the way I see fit. I want to be able to move without a word and leave for long periods of time.
I just want to be my own male and I don’t want anything to mess with that.
I don’t want to be responsible for bringing a life into this mean, bad world and worry every damn day of my life that I can’t protect them.
I know some of Lacey’s story from Koehn. She’s been through a lot in her short life and none of it was her fault. Although she thought it was.
I feel a kinship with her on that. My own family was destroyed when our tribe was attacked. In one instant, I had nobody anymore.
It vrecking hurt. Not to mention the female that didn’t want me.
So I’m not in a rush to be responsible for anybody else and with Alex?
My hand runs through my hair which I’ve got down today although I usually braid it up to fight. To be ready at all times.
“That female is not right in her mental state,” I mutter under my breath. I cannot be responsible for her.
Koehn snorts with laughter. I whip around, my fists clenching at my sides. “What is so funny?”
“You. You sound just like me. You can fight it all you want.”
“I intend to. I don’t want a mate.”
“It’s fated. I don’t believe that you can fight that.”
“I can fight any granthing thing I want. And I’ll vrecking win.”
He shakes his head, his white hair a mess from his usual tidy length. But with the biggest smile on his face. He smacks my arm and walks towards a mat in the workout area. “Come on. Let me see you do something beyond crying.”
I snort. “I’m not crying.”
He yanks his hair up in a leather tie. “You’re not fighting either.”
I meet him on the mat. Tying my own hair up, I slip into an offensive posture. “Get ready to get your ass destroyed.”
“Your English sucks. Is that the best trash talk you’ve got? I think Alex could and would destroy you.”
“I’ve been practicing same as you.”
“Difference is that I’m with my mate and she helps me. Alex just seems to be making you into a bigger mess. That sucks as she’s your mate.”
Blood pounds in my ears and a snarl flicks my lips. “I am tired of this talk. What is it exactly that you want from me, Koehn?”
He sighs. “We’re having a meeting about this trip that the females are so excited about.”
“Yeah. I’ve already said I’d do it. I can take one of the two-seater ships. Who are we thinking to go with me?”
“I don’t think you’re going to like the way this is going to go, my brother.”
I don’t like it. I can tell by the look on his face, smug and yet worried.
“There is no way that they could be thinking of sending Alex with me,” I grit out between clenched teeth, my fangs grinding into my bottom teeth.
“That is what they are thinking of doing.” He holds up his hand as I open my mouth to spew a diatribe of swear words. Human swear words fascinate me. “Look at it this way. If you manage to find this female, she’s gonna be scared. She’s not going to understand you at all. And you won’t have the means to add our language to the chip until you get back here. It’s the best way to make sure that she is comfortable.”
“What about my comfort, Koehn? There is no vrecking way I want to take a long trip alone with Alex. The female is a damn menace. The other day she threatened to take my manhood in the most painful way possible.”
